Dog farts

Dogley is a flatulent dog.  Always has been, we just accept it as part of nature.  Unfortunately for us.  But sometimes, he rips one out so bad that he clears the room.  And just now, he ripped one out so bad that he offended himself.  He got up and walked away, staring backwards at the stench, with a look of confusion ...... like, who did THAT?

Sleeping in pee.... Just part life around here

Normally Wheeler has insomnia and I sleep like a baby but the last weeks its been reversed. So as I sat here tonight reading through a stack of magazines I've brought so as to distract my head from yelling internal at me WHY AREN'T YOU ASLEEP, I reached over for the next magazine as I'd left them in a stack on Wheeler's legs (yes, I treat him as my table, he's astonishingly useful in that regard and doesn't mind a bit. win-win!) I digress. Which I'm prone to do at 2 am. 

But the magazine I pick up is sopping wet. I suddenly realize that the off odor that I'd been smelling for the past however so long was (insert DUN DUN DUN.....) PEE! Not just any pee though, stenchy odiferous wild untreated UTI pee. His bag earlier the day had stunk so badly that I actually changed the bag out, something I have never had to do before. I only change them when I change the catheter once monthly. But this was full on peel the paint off the walls STANK (as we say in the south). 

So I took all three corners of sheets and blankets and pillows off that I could do without disturbing him, took away the pillows we use to stack him in the positioning all night (good bye to those, I don't think they are salvageable but I could be wrong) gathered a fresh supply of: waterproof mattress pad, fitted sheet, flat sheet, blanket, bed pad, sheepskin, pillow and pillowcase for him. You see, the way it leaked was such that it formed a blossoming oval around him from his knees to his neck and it didn't touch my side much. I think the sheepskin wicked it up and around him. 

At that point, I finally had to wake him, for which I felt horribly guilty (waking a man with sleeping difficulties.....) and explained. He said "Whatever", I put him in the sling, I redressed the bed in such good time that I'm prepared to lobby the Olympics to make it a sport. Then I hoisted him back down, where he .... promptly fell back to sleep!! SUCCESS! I took the sheets and blankets straightaway to the washer, put the whole rest of the mess outside on the back porch so that smell won't be in my house, or worse, soaking into my hardwood floors. I'll do those tomorrow. 

Now only magazine is unusable (and possibly the body pillows, but I'll make a final judgement on that in the AM). 

All I can say is that I am quite HAPPY to have had insomnia tonight. Otherwise it would have been much, much, MUCH worse if it had leaked all night versus finding it early on in the leaking process tonight at 2 am. 

Cheers to insomnia 

Fines at our house

You are fined 25 cents* in this house for:

1. Failing to put Wheeler's mouthstick back if you move it away
2. Failing to push the piano bench in (it traps/blocks Wheeler)
3. Swearing (a quarter per offense)
4. Saying fart (Offspring only, adults allowed)
5. FartING (Offspring only, quads allowed, mothers simply don't fart)
6. Leaving anything on the ramp (blocks/traps Wheeler)
7. Failing to obey a direct order (Offspring and quad only, mothers rule supreme)

8. Leaving shoes anywhere but on feet or on stairs
9. Failure to maintain a 5 minute warning buffer prior to trumpet practice
10. Turning Wheeler's chair off on purpose!

* all fines go to Villalobos Rescue Center which gets rich from us. Once a month I send in a SUBSTANTIAL donation.

postscript: the most revenue is generated by breaking rule #3 by the author of this blog, who shall remain thankfully anonymous.... 

Children of single mothers are such slackers

But I don't use a landline.....

I just signed Offspring up for Delta's frequent flyer program and it asked for a mobile phone number, and then for a home phone number.  My mobile number is our home number, so I left it blank.  *error* It required me to fill in a home number.  So I filled in my mobile number in that field too. *error*.  WTF?  Now what am I gonna put in?  I don't use a landline.  Ultimately, I put his dad's number in there, but if I need to sign up for Delta's miles myself (which I should do, I travel for business alot lately), I'm not quite sure what to put there.  I guess I'll put Wheeler's cell number there.  But it's just annoying that they are so behind the times that they don't account for people who only use a mobile for everything.  I've used a mobile for everything for 5+ years.  Get with the program people!