I am constantly amazed at the variety of creative and effusive expressions used on gluten free packaging to claim that their gluten free product tastes amazingly like the gluten original or even more preposterously, better than the gluten original. Here are some that jump to mind.
"So delicious that you won't even notice the difference!" -----> yes, you will
"Tastes just like the real thing!" -----> no, it doesn't
"Flavorful and tasty - just like the real thing!" -----> insert basketball buzzer: ERRRRRRRTTTT
This last one is the one that was on the package Kinnikinnick S'more Style Graham Gluten Free Crackers (try saying that fast even sober) that I used in banana pudding tonight. They were D-I-S-G-U-S-T-I-N-G.
"Gluten free has never tasted so good!" -----> so horrid that even the DOGS wouldn't eat them
Monday, August 29, 2011
Saturday, August 27, 2011
We watched part of The Hunt For Red October tonight A key part of the movie is that the Ramius, played by Sean Connery, posts a letter to the Russian head honchos stating that he intends to defect with the Red October before he sets sail. It is, as he says, motivation to remain undetected to the Russians chasing him because as a result of the letter the entire Russian fleet have instructions to find him and sync his boat.
Well, that's the way that Offspring heard it.
But I didn't want a puppy
When contemplating getting another dog recently, I put the big ix nay on getting a puppy. I refused to even look at a puppy because I knew that if I held a puppy that I would immediately run to the front desk of the shelter, plunk down the money to buy, run home and snuggle it to death. Then I'd immediately have buyer's remorse when it would pee on my floors, chomp my shoes, woodwork, bark, chase everything in sight, eat anything not nailed down and generally make a pest of itself. So we "window shopped" online and picked out Blue from the hundreds of NON-puppies at the Wake County animal shelter. He was estimated to be between 1 and 2 years old. Good enough for me!
Turns out when we got him though that he was quite sick and was tremendously hurt. His pelvis was fractured in 4 places, as was his femur, along with a few fractured ribs and a broken jaw thrown in just for fun. His hip socket was shattered so completely that his bone had formed a pseudojoint, meaning that the head of the hip joint carved out a socket for itself in the spine itself. Then toss in hepatitis, a case of worms and some sort of upper respiratory infection, and this dog was a basket case.
When the physical rehabilitation vet saw the X-rays, the first thing he said was "how are you alive?". Yes, he saw not only our regular vet, but also the NC State orthopedic vets and a physical therapist specialist vet too... can we all say expensive? But he's worth it.....well, maybe.
After all of the treatments, the passage of 6 weeks, and lots and lots of exercise to strength his very badly injured back left leg, he is playful, full of pep, impish and rambunctious now. He used to be lethargic and rather pathetic to be honest. I called him my little old man. He slept ALL the time, he didn't play, and he was just downright tired. NO MORE. He is a new dog.He is now a puppy. Having been a stray and having probably missed his puppy hood having to fend for himself in the wild with a hideous painful injury, he is now all WOOOOO-HOOOOO I GET TO BE A BABY DOG NOW!!!! and he is sure living it up. In the last week he has: eaten 2 buttons off of one of my favorite pair of shoes (expensive shoes by the way)*, he chewed and made a mess of one shoe of at least 3 pairs of shoes (I think the PTSD made me lose count around 3, so it could be more). He also chewed and ate 3 different sections of the baseboards/chair rails (poor Wheeler, he could hear Blue chewing at the baseboards but could do nada to make him stop).
Crate training, coming right up!
* Due to the distinct possibility of the buttons causing a traffic jam in important areas between Point A and Point B in Blue's body, I needed to be sure that said button actually made it from Point A to Point B. Therefore I began to carry plastic gloves with me on my walks with Blue to check all material that emerged from Point B to see if it contained said buttons, until such time as said buttons appeared. Thankfully, after 4 checks, the two buttons appeared and I no longer needed to suss through his poo.
Turns out when we got him though that he was quite sick and was tremendously hurt. His pelvis was fractured in 4 places, as was his femur, along with a few fractured ribs and a broken jaw thrown in just for fun. His hip socket was shattered so completely that his bone had formed a pseudojoint, meaning that the head of the hip joint carved out a socket for itself in the spine itself. Then toss in hepatitis, a case of worms and some sort of upper respiratory infection, and this dog was a basket case.
When the physical rehabilitation vet saw the X-rays, the first thing he said was "how are you alive?". Yes, he saw not only our regular vet, but also the NC State orthopedic vets and a physical therapist specialist vet too... can we all say expensive? But he's worth it.....well, maybe.
After all of the treatments, the passage of 6 weeks, and lots and lots of exercise to strength his very badly injured back left leg, he is playful, full of pep, impish and rambunctious now. He used to be lethargic and rather pathetic to be honest. I called him my little old man. He slept ALL the time, he didn't play, and he was just downright tired. NO MORE. He is a new dog.He is now a puppy. Having been a stray and having probably missed his puppy hood having to fend for himself in the wild with a hideous painful injury, he is now all WOOOOO-HOOOOO I GET TO BE A BABY DOG NOW!!!! and he is sure living it up. In the last week he has: eaten 2 buttons off of one of my favorite pair of shoes (expensive shoes by the way)*, he chewed and made a mess of one shoe of at least 3 pairs of shoes (I think the PTSD made me lose count around 3, so it could be more). He also chewed and ate 3 different sections of the baseboards/chair rails (poor Wheeler, he could hear Blue chewing at the baseboards but could do nada to make him stop).
Crate training, coming right up!
* Due to the distinct possibility of the buttons causing a traffic jam in important areas between Point A and Point B in Blue's body, I needed to be sure that said button actually made it from Point A to Point B. Therefore I began to carry plastic gloves with me on my walks with Blue to check all material that emerged from Point B to see if it contained said buttons, until such time as said buttons appeared. Thankfully, after 4 checks, the two buttons appeared and I no longer needed to suss through his poo.
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
Life ain't fair
Compare these two Blue Cross Blue Shield plans.
Sucks to be us eh?
Type | Wheeler & Me | Offspring (dad) |
PCP visit | $30 | $20 |
Specialist visit | $70 | $20 |
PT/OT/etc | $52 | $20 |
Mental health | $92 | $20 |
Urgent care | $87 | $10 |
ER | $233 + 20% | $100 |
Cost per month | $604 | $47 |
Thoughts: | WTF???? | Awesome |
Sucks to be us eh?
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
Me versus the Lab Fee
Today we received a bill in the mail for a lab service for Wheeler's recent uroanalysis. When we took in the sample last week, we took in his new insurance care (which is now Medicare .... geeeeee lucky us) and made a huge massive giant large point to say that HE HAS NEW INSURANCE AND HERE IS HIS NEW CARD and to PLEASE PLEASE PLEASSSSSSSE BILL THE LAB TO MEDICARE THANKYOUVERYMUCH. They said of course they would, no problem ma'am.
I'm sure you know where this is going, right?
[If you're really dense (say, like the people at the medical office apparently) and don't know where this is going, read line 1 again).]
So the bill is for $201.86. For a lousy C&S?? And that was just the C&S, not the $50 in lab handling and mailing charges that were sent separately. No wonder healthcare costs are spiraling out of control. That and $47,000 wheelchairs. I digress. But I love to bring that up as often as I can for the shock factor. Yes, his chair actually cost $47,000. Fer real doods, it totally did.
Back to the $201.86, which now sounds sorta cheap, but anyway, this was processed without any insurance, so they need to have his Medicare applied to it. I searched the bill and on the front it says in big print "You can easily and quickly update your insurance information on our website! See back for details". I duly turned the bill and searched and searched for the website. I finally found it in the 3rd paragraph of the legal disclaimer section in print so small that even my bifocals were foiled. Nevertheless, with the address in hand, I went to the website and was confronted with two field for entry - "Account number" and "Zip code" - and two buttons, of which one was to be chosen - "Pay by Bank Account" or "Pay by Credit Card". Now, knowing that they foiled me with teeeeeeensy tiny fine print to find the website address, I whipped out a microscope and searched the screen to find the &*(@#% section that said "Update my insurance information" but alas, it was not there. I even filled out the account information and zip code and clicked the two payment options (serially) to see if there was a sneaky poorly designed way to update insurance information there, but there wasn't.
Grrrrrr.
So I did what I hate hate hate to do more than most anything else. I picked up the phone. I dialed the number listed on the form for "friendly 24 hour a day service".
Brrrrrrr-ring, brrrrrr-ring.... Hello! Press 1 for Spanish! Press 2 for silence! Press 3 for Musak! Press 4 for Pig Latin! Press 5 for Braille! For all others, stay on the line. ... (Musak here) .... To pay your bill by bank account press 1! To pay your bill by credit card press 2! For all others, please note that we are closed. Click.
Gee thanks.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)


