Me versus the Lab Fee

Today we received a bill in the mail for a lab service for Wheeler's recent uroanalysis.  When we took in the sample last week, we took in his new insurance care (which is now Medicare .... geeeeee lucky us) and made a huge massive giant large point to say that HE HAS NEW INSURANCE AND HERE IS HIS NEW CARD and to PLEASE PLEASE PLEASSSSSSSE BILL THE LAB TO MEDICARE THANKYOUVERYMUCH.  They said of course they would, no problem ma'am. 

I'm sure you know where this is going, right? 

[If you're really dense (say, like the people at the medical office apparently) and don't know where this is going, read line 1 again).] 

So the bill is for $201.86.  For a lousy C&S??  And that was just the C&S, not the $50 in lab handling and mailing charges that were sent separately.  No wonder healthcare costs are spiraling out of control.  That and $47,000 wheelchairs.  I digress.  But I love to bring that up as often as I can for the shock factor.  Yes, his chair actually cost $47,000.  Fer real doods, it totally did. 

Back to the $201.86, which now sounds sorta cheap, but anyway, this was processed without any insurance, so they need to have his Medicare applied to it.  I searched the bill and on the front it says in big print "You can easily and quickly update your insurance information on our website! See back for details".  I duly turned the bill and searched and searched for the website.  I finally found it in the 3rd paragraph of the legal disclaimer section in print so small that even my bifocals were foiled.  Nevertheless, with the address in hand, I went to the website and was confronted with two field for entry - "Account number" and "Zip code" - and two buttons, of which one was to be chosen - "Pay by Bank Account" or "Pay by Credit Card".  Now, knowing that they foiled me with teeeeeeensy tiny fine print to find the website address, I whipped out a microscope and searched the screen to find the &*(@#% section that said "Update my insurance information" but alas, it was not there.  I even filled out the account information and zip code and clicked the two payment options (serially) to see if there was a sneaky poorly designed way to update insurance information there, but there wasn't. 

Grrrrrr. 

So I did what I hate hate hate to do more than most anything else.  I picked up the phone.  I dialed the number listed on the form for "friendly 24 hour a day service". 

Brrrrrrr-ring, brrrrrr-ring....  Hello!  Press 1 for Spanish! Press 2 for silence! Press 3 for Musak!  Press 4 for Pig Latin!  Press 5 for Braille!  For all others, stay on the line.  ... (Musak here) .... To pay your bill by bank account press 1!  To pay your bill by credit card press 2! For all others, please note that we are closed.  Click.

Gee thanks.