Garfield made me do it

Yesterday I asked Offspring to help me clean up. The house was a disaster to say the least and I needed all hands on deck. He groused about for a few minutes, 10%-heartedly picking things up then standing around looking glum. He brightened up though as he came over and told me

I think that whoever makes the mess should have to clean it up

Ohhhh, you do? Well then, I think whoever lives here should have to pay the mortgage. And whoever lives here has to pay for food. And the gas bill. And the electric bill. And the cable bill. And the ....

As I went on and on, he got madder and madder. Then, in a Christmas Story style fudge word sort of way said ....

You shut your big fat mouth lady!

Silence. 

More silence.

At this point, he is lucky to be alive.

Then I sent him to the corner and berated him for a good 5 minutes about how massively unacceptable it was for him to say that to me. While he was there I also decided that he could not have a sleepover with his best buddy that night - something he'd been looking forward to all weekend. I told him that when he got out of the corner and he went ballistic with tears and dramatic moaning about how much he hates the world and hates me, hates me, hates me. 

No matter what mom, from this day forward, I am going to always like you just a little bit less than I did before now. Hrumph! 

With that he turned on his heel and went upstairs. Score one for Offspring cause ok, that one dug in a bit. Sniffle.

Then I sent him upstairs to chill out (and partially so that he would remain alive). He came back down the stairs a few minutes later looking like he had something to say to me. Big round eyes, big pouty lips - he says:

Mom? I think maybe I've been reading a little too much Garfield. 

Huh? 

Well, because that's something that Garfield would say. He's very disrespectful. 

Nice try kid.