His WHO?

Wheeler had cataract surgery last week.  At the registration, we both sat there as the admissions clerk (an older lady) ran through all the questions, which Wheeler duly answered.  I got out his insurance cards of course, since he is paralyzed from the neck down (this factors in again in a moment, so don't forget this part).  After all the questions were done, she printed the arm band, walked around her desk to us and said to Wheeler

"Which arm do you want it on?"

To which he politely, not flippantly, replied, something along the lines of

"It doesn't really matter".

Then, she looks STRAIGHT AT ME, full in the face, and says this.  Brace yourself.

"Mom?  Which arm?"

I totally frickin' shit you not.

Wheeler then indignantly and rather forcefully corrected her:

"That's my WIFE"

To which she replied:

"She's your wife??" in a very shocked tone.

Lots of layers to unpack here, am I right?  Let's start with the obvious.  Even if I had a child at a young age, that would make me at least in my mid 60s. Even on my worst day of my life, there is no possible way that ANYONE ON THE FACE OF THE PLANET would think I am in my 60s.  Oh wait, except her.

Actually, though I don't even think she thought I was in my 60s.  I don't think she even saw me as a person.  She saw me in my "role" - my caregiver role.  Who would be with a man totally paralyzed from the neck down?  Well, only his mother of course, because of course people like that would never have a normal life and anyone other than his mother come to the hospital with him.  Or oh my god, get (gasp!) married!!  I mean, what would be the point of that for the girl eh?

I am just so angry about this that I could spit nails.