Yup, it is broken. Very, very broken.

Went to the orthopedic clinic today and confirmed that Wheeler does indeed have a broken arm, a very broken arm to be exact. And I don't have a broken arm. I know this because when he gets an x-ray, I get an x-ray. I have to hold him up! Actually, I wasn't on the film and got to wear a nifty lead vest, but it reminds me of when he is hospitalized ... he when is hospitalized, so am I. All those who deal with high level quadness know exactly what I mean. 

He has an oblique fracuture of the left humerus - it is a diagonal break, it is completely in two pieces and then just for fun, dislocated too. The treatment is just to wait for it to heal itself. They put him in a "functional brace", which is just a hard piece of plastic that protects the upper arm. The problem is that regular people can feel when the hard brace is pinching just a little wrong and can shift around. He can't feel it and so I'm terrified that his skin will pinch and cause a nasty pressure sore, which would truly be disastrous. 

I can't dress him because to dress him I have to roll him side to side to dress him, so I went and bought a bunch of sweat pants to slide - gently - onto him. I can't use our overhead lift to move him because of his arm, and so we have to do stand and pivot transfers, which is a fancy way of saying picking him up by brute force. Can't shower him, can't can't can't.... 

I'm sure this will seem more manageable in the morning, but I am truly getting overwhelmed. And panicky. Then I feel guilty on top of it all because he is the one with the broken arm for goodness sake. But it does affect me - alot - and I am trying to remember that its ok for me to feel overwhelmed too. Right? Something about being at the clinic, seeing the actual xray, hearing that it will take at least 8 weeks to heal under the best of circumstances (e.g. he wasn't a holey boned quad and had something crazy like, say, senasation) made it just all come crashing down on me. :(

And just to top it all off, the very expensive Lionel train that we bought for Offspring has a bad transformer. So I have to box it up, mail it back, etc etc. That just seems insurmountable. 

Things will seem better in the morning. 

Right? 

Sigh.