Our cone

We have orange cones - or more properly, a single orange cone - in the back seat of the van that I use to block the parking space next to us when we are somewhere without an adequate h/c ramp space. That would be everywhere by the way. I've pretty much stopped using them because I had 3 and 2 were recently stolen. I think I wrote about it on here. Sometimes I feel like posting a big sign on the back of our van that says

PLEASE DO NOT PARK WITHIN 8 FEET OF THE PASSENGER SIDE OF THIS VERY SPIFFY GLAMOROUS CONVERSION VAN. IF YOU CHOOSE TO NOT HEED THIS 'SUGGESTION' AND DO PARK WITHIN 8 FEET OF THE PASSENGER SIDE OF THIS VAN, I WILL LOWER THE 1000 POUND CAPACITY LIFT ONTO YOUR CAR AND CRUSH IT. THANK YOU FOR YOUR COOPERATION.

But anyway. I don't much put out the cone anymore. However, Offspring has found a novel and highly useful way to utilize the cone. He speaks through it. It is worth noting first that it is a long long way from the back seat of the van to the driver's seat. It is also worth noting that the van is exceptionally noisy in the interior because it has lowered floors and the ramp (the aforementioned 1000 pound capacity lift) rattles like crazy when driving. Even when idiling. So I'm constantly yelling from the front seat 'WHAT DID YOU SAY?!??' to Offspring. A few months back, I was driving along and suddenly Offspring's voice was in my ear, clear as day, "Mom, could we stop at the toy store?" or whatever it was he said, although this is the most frequent sentence uttered while driving, followed closely by "Can we go to Chick Fil A?", the answer to which is no, I can't eat anything there and even when I could eat there, their chicken tastes really weird, its rumored to be marinaded in pickle juice, ewwwww. 

I looked in the rearview mirror and there was a giant orange cone where my boy used to sit. Its so big that it pretty much covers his whole body when he speaks through it. I can usually see his legs waggling out under it. After I nearly drove off the road choked with laughter, I was struck by the usefulness of this. So I merely answered him (loudly, as I don't have a cone) and ever since he pretty much speaks through the cone when we're in the van. Poor Wheeler is caught in the middle though and so he has to listen to Offspring's voice booming through the cone and often has to shout my responses to Offspring (as I don't have a cone). 

I have to admit though that he's been talking through the cone matter of factly for several months now but it still makes me laugh every single time he does it. I don't let him see me laugh because then it would rapidly deterioate from something useful to very, very annoying.