Caring for the caregiver

As you may have figured out by now, I am an avid New York Times reader. A number of recent articles piqued my attention because of their particular relevance to our lives.

About caregivers, as the Well Spouse website/foundation says, that when one is sick, two need help. That is astonishingly true but yet it is not recognized. At least never once in my experience. I have to reach out to others in my situation. This is discussed here: Who Cares for Caregivers?.

This article talks about how its really hard in actual life for a caregiver to 'take care of herself' It's Hard to Stop Being a Caregiver

I've been asked so many times why what I do for Wheeler isn't covered by insurance. Because anything deemed 'custodial care' is not reimbursed. From Medicare Doesn't Pay for Jack (ok, that's not really the title), the author writes

"Nothing shocked me more in the early days of caring for my elderly mother than the discovery that Medicare, the U.S.’s universal health coverage for those ages 65 and older, does not pay for so many of the things the frail elderly require. Not home health aides for those who can’t get out of bed, bathe, dress or feed themselves. Not an assisted-living facility, with handicap-accessible apartments, congregate meals and transportation services. Not nursing homes where the most helpless of the elderly live out their days with round-the-clock supervision." 

And private insurance is no better; Wheeler is not on Medicare but insurance companies use Medicare standards typically as the basis for their care guidelines in situations of the elderly and disabled. So I get no help with anything for Wheeler. When we do have a caregiver, we pay an hourly wage out of pocket entirely, so we have to always weigh the benefit versus the substantial hit on our finances.

This next article Don't Call Me Sweetie resonated because I read it while Wheeler was in the hospital, right after he had been dismissively addressed as "sweetie" by the hospitalist and not in a nice way, something I think I mentioned in a previous post. I'd remember, but my mind is addled, and I'm lazy to go look and see if I mentioned it or just wrote it in an email to CherkyB's wife, who is marvelous by the way, she was my link to sanity last week as I furiously texted emails to her as I cleaned up Wheeler over and over again all night long (that two hour time difference was a life saver, lol).

And you'll note that these articles are all geared towards those who care for older people, either spouses or adult children. However, all of these things apply to younger caregivers of those with younger spouses who are disabled. I'd put forth that we younger caregivers face all of the hardships faced by caregivers of the elderly plus more challenges.