I hate to talk in the morning. I really do. I hate mornings in general, but speaking in the morning is incredibly annoying. Either direction: I hate being spoken to and I hate speaking. Wheeler, on the other hand, talks alot in the morning. Its good in a way because he gets Offspring up and moving, and Offspring is talkative in the morning, so they talk to each other. But the other day, Wheeler was hungry when he woke up. And here went our conversation, approximately....
What do we have for breakfast?
(silence)
Do we have anything to eat?
muhhhahhhhpft
Do we have any cereal?
rumphfff
Yes, we do?
mmmmm mmmmm
What kind?
reareeeerohs (said without opening my mouth)
Regular?
nuhhuh
Honey nut?
(silence ... hoping he'll think I died, call 911 and ask them to bring breakfast on the way to pick up my dead body)
Honey nut?
Fwwwwwwwwwuittteee msmmmmaaaqqqffffttt
Hmmmm. Do we have eggs?
Yeah (with a snarl)
Oatmeal?
YES!
Toast?
(silence)
Well, when you are done getting Offspring's breakfast could I get a bowl of cereal?
(silence) .... thinking, geez, if you were gonna eat cereal all along, why the 3rd degree about all other possible breakfast options?
Hello?
YES!!!!!! I heard you, whatever. Geesh.
OK.
(glare)
What?
Do I look like a short order cook?! ..... (pause).... Wait. Don't answer that.
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