Closed loop quad containment system

Having a quadriplegic husband means I get to do everything twice, and the twice time takes longer. Its harder to brush someone else's teeth than yours, it takes longer to shower someone else than to shower yourself etc. When Wheeler is in bed there are a number of things that need to be done regularly that never, ever, ever, ever seem to end. Just as I think everything is done, something else needs to be done. Filling up his water bottle, giving him meds, emptying the bed bag, range of motion, brushing teeth, moving the straw, moving the blankets and scratching his head/face/shoulders are the primary ones. So I've been daydreaming of a Wallace and Grommit style invention to help me out.

(imagine dreamlike wavy lines here ....)


Patent Application: Q8Y-4726T
Date of Application: April 13, 2009
Invention Name: Closed Loop Quad Containment System

Upon placing one's beloved quadriplegic in bed, hook straw directly up to the city water main for a continuous supply of fresh water. Then, hook catheter bag up to a tube attached to a hole in the floor that runs directly to the city sewer city for disposal. An arm will then come out of the wall and dump a small cup of meds into the mouth using an electronic eye sensor. The medication cup will be filled up by the operator once a month, with dispensing automated. A similar system will dispense toothpaste onto a toothbrush, will brush the teeth and dump mouthwash into the mouth. A spit cup will be presented which will be dumped into the sewer connection previously described. Robotic cushioned claws will then drop down from the ceiling, carefully grasping each limb and will proceed to rotate them around in various directions to fully stretch the major muscle groups. During this, a hand with nice pointy fingernails will come directly out of the wall, grasp the head and will scratch for at least 5 minutes in a circular motion around the head. Once a week, the robotic arms will automatically cut fingernails and toenails. Next, similar to a sprayer car wash, the system will spray a fine mist of baby oil onto each body part to ensure smooth supple skin. The robotic arm will then open the freezer installed next to the bed for the nightly ice cream feeding. It will scoop out ice cream, feed it to the subject, then rinse and steam wash the bowl and return it to the bowl holder system for the next day. After completion of all tasks, the robotic claws will pull the sheet and blanket up over the head. 

Wouldn't that be nice? I guess it's kinda hard to appreciate the constantcy of it until you do this stuff day in and day out for years. When I went to NZ, our PCA nearly flipped out from the stress of 24/7 care and she only did it for 16 days. And his mom literally fled the house after less than 72 hours of caregiving when I went to Portland (leaving before I was even back!). In a way I felt triumphant upon my returns - "HA! See, I am goddess of caregiving!". Then again, it also showed me just how much I do .... which I try not to think about too much or it overwhelms me.

But when I patent my quad containment system, I'll have alot less work to do.