Please fax to:

Today in the mail I received a form to fill out. Its 14 pages, so its a helluva a form. At any rate, the letter with it says, approximately:


Dear Person With Nothing Better To Do, 

Attached is a form. It is really long. It is repetitive and much of it does not even apply to your situation. Despite this, you must fill it out. Yes, all of it, yes it is 14 pages long (excluding instructions, warnings, precuations and legal liability waiver disclaimers on pages (i) - (iv). 

Once it is completed, please fax this form to 1-666-FAX-HERE. It is extremely important that you fax this to the correct number, so again, please ensure that you fax this form to 1-666-FAX-DIFFERENT#. If this form is sent to the wrong fax number, your claim will not be processed and there will be a substantial delay on the processing of your claim. 

With Our Best Regards, 

The Company Who Hopes You'll Give Up and Just Not Send It In 

Then the best part - on the form itself is yet a third different fax number that is listed as the fax number to use. And I'm still wondering if the claim will not be processed or if it will be but there will be a delay in processing it. So what do I do? Fax to all 3 numbers and then they'll say that I have multiple claims and delete them all? Flip a 3 sided coin and send to the winning phone number?

I wish I was kidding.