I am a good mother. A really good mother actually. But ya know, sometimes it just don' work all the time. Like throwing a dart at a moving (5 year old) target. Yesterday was "caring" day at the Y. He was supposed to dress in red to symbolize caring. Not sure what the connection is between red and caring but that's neither here nor there. Tuesday is honesty day it is green day. Not the band. So anyway. Like a good mom, I dressed him in a red shirt and red socks (his race car socks, his favorite). First of all, finding two MATCHING socks, particularly designed matching socks is an accomplishment of the highest order in this house. Several people can attest to the fact that our house eats socks. As in munches them up and swallows. I'm convinced if I went under the house in the crawl space I would find gads of undigested socks. I also put him in his red shoes - very snazzy - slip ons from LL Bean. But alas, they were too small so we went with bright blue and white. Mama is a shoe horse and is trying to teach her son to be one too. This boy has more shoes than any kid, well boy, I guarantee.
As a good mother, I decide that on the way to the Y, we'll have bonding time and learning time all rolled into one and talk about caring. I told him that I cared about him, that was a very important trait to have and he answered me with all of the people he cared about, starting with MOI!
Full stop. The last sentence was a complete fabrication. Oh wait, the last sentence was full stop. ... well, you know what I mean. I said what I said and as I said it the whole time he was saying "HMMMM!" in that snotty little boy way. Huffing and harumphing his way through my little "teachable moment" to show me he was NOT interested in what I had to say. When I asked him if he cared about anyone, he said "NO! NOBODY! And not you!". Hmmmmm. One of those mothering dilemmas. Do I said "well young man, if you don't START caring about me, I'm going wup ya until you CARE about me stoppin!"# (a version of the beating will continue until morale improves ... a sign I had in my swank corporate office when I did swank corporate things). But no, of course I don't say that - I just thinked it really really loud.
I just said "hmmmmm. Is there anyone you care about?". Small Boy: "NO! And I don't wanna talk about caring!" So much for bonding, teachable moments, etc. Instead we rode in silence with Small Boy opening and closing the window the rest of the way.
Last night I got talking to someone about the Da Vinci code movie and I was reminded of Wheeler's high degree of interest in it. He was keen to see a movie, we go to the movies annually (this is not an exaggeration unfortunately!). So Da Vinci code it was. After the first 10 mins of the movie in which there is tons of action and excitement, to my horror, I hear REALLY LOUD snoring coming from the man in a wheelchair next to me. As I had of course no idea who this person could possibly be, I could not know such a creature, I merely socked the poor soul in the shoulder to wake him up. It didn't work, but the next snore did. SNNNOORRRRRRTTTTTTTT! It was so loud that Wheeler (ok, OK! I knew the guy, it was my husband) woke himself up. The whole theatre was consumed with quiet giggles, laughs of people trying not the laugh. Meanwhile I shrunk down in my chair in sheer and total embarrassment whilst Wheeler looks around confused saying "what?". Blogauthor sinks lower into seat ..... Next time we go I'm adminstering caffeine to him by IV before and throughout the show.
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