The dog that deadbolts

We ordered pizza tonight - to my utter delight, our local pizza joint now carries gluten free pizza - and the delivery guy arrived.  As always, Dog and Dogley went absolutely ballistic at the sight of a stranger at the door, so I stepped outside and closed the door to sign the receipt and get the food.  As the guy walked away, I turned back to come back into the house.  

Only now, the door was locked. 

Wha????  I jiggled wiggled and tried absolutely everything, but the dabgum door was utterly and irrevocably (at least from the outside) l-o-c-k-e-d. I couldn't figure out how I had locked it by shutting it - maybe I'd pulled it too hard or something weird, some strange confluence of space and time?  The only lock we have is a deadbolt that turns though, so I just was utterly confused, until I saw Dog (very tall, very big) Dog bounding up and down pawing the door ... and it all clicked. Pun intended.  I tried everything to unlock it from the outside, but since its a deadbolt, the idea is that, well, it doesn't open from the outside.  And we got our money's worth - it didn't open.  [sidebar: I feel very safe at night now.]

But here's the problem now.  It's raining (of course it's raining).  I'm standing outside holding hot food.  My paralyzed husband is inside.  My non-paralyzed child is not home.  I don't have my phone on me.  I'm wearing just pajamas and socks.  The only other door is around back.  Sucking it up, I plunge through the front, then side, then back yard, where I step in a pile of dog doo.  Great.  I sit on the edge of the porch, take off my soaked and utterly disgusting socks and go to the back door.  I try the handle JUST as I remember I had deadbolted the back door the last time I let the dogs out.  

Now I'm am 100% deadbolted out of my house - front and back doors.  I have one last hope though ... the garage door.  We have a keypad, so I punched in our code and much to my relief, the door opened.  I came flying in the door and breathlessly asked Wheeler if he heard all of the commotion.  He blithely looked up and said "No".  NO?!?!   I shook the door, yelled at the dog, swore like a sailor as I walked around the house, jiggled the back door, swore some more and then opened and came in the garage door ... and he didn't notice that I was gone for all that time just answering the door for pizza???  For an observant guy, he sure is clueless sometimes.

On the plus side, perhaps I can just tell Dog to go lock the door instead of having to get up and do it myself from now on.