The good parts of quadriplegia

Good things about being married to a totally paralyzed quad. First, the totally obvious stuff:

• Outstanding parking
• Excellent seating options at events (usually, but if not, I piss and moan until I get my way by threatening public exposure, humilitation and just my general wrath)
• You get lots of attention, nearly always polite and caring.

The not so obvious stuff:

• You never have to go through a turnstile at an event, or metal detector. His chair would sorta make the wands go dingy-dingy-dingy so they just wave us through. All of us. Hmmmmm.
• Small Boy can ride on Wheeler when he's tired of walking.
• He always has a place to sit. I never have to bring a lawn chair for Wheeler.
• His chair reclines, so Small Boy and Wheeler can lay back and study the stars together from the same vantage point.
• You have a place to hang all of your shopping bags, purse, lunch bag, backpack. Just lop it over the top of the headrest and/or hang it off the carabeeners bolted to the back of his chair.
• We have an uber cool bed that goes up, down, reclines, tilts, and changes its own sheets (just kidding about that last one).
• We have an overhead lift in our bedroom to get him in/out of his chair/bed/showerchair that lifts him 6 feet in the air and tracks 15 feet long.  Its WAY cool.  
• You get to weird people out by staring back at them when they stare rudely at Wheeler.
• We are almost always seated immediately at a restaurant, even when there is an hour wait for anyone else. It's the "gimpathy" thing I guess. Or they hope he doesn't drop dead while he's there so get him in and out asap. 
• You get to push those wheelchair door opener things! (even though I could perfectly well open the door and just hold it)
• When you roll into Starbucks, the four people sitting at the single table prominently labeled for disabled customers, all immediately BOLT away and look terribly sheepish (even though there's absolutely nothing wrong with sitting there if there's no disabled person there .... but they seem to get embarrassed anyway, happens every time)
• When something irritating happens due to his disability, I get to holler and yell, shake my finger and say "ADA thing, and ADA that, ADA shigga, ADA ragga, ADA bliggablogga, and DO WHAT I WANT RIGHT NOW". And then, miraculously they do. Ahhhh, power. Yes, it corrupts. (during these episdoes Wheeler shrinks into his chair as if he has never seen this crazy ranting woman in his entire life)
• I am in charge of the fork. If I want the first bite, I get it. 
• Wheeler has a super cool environmental control unit that turns lights and fans and all sorts of things on and off. Dude. 
• He knows absolutely everything trivial thing about everything. Ummm, ok, so that's unrelated to being a quad, it's just Wheeler being Wheeler.

On the whole though? We'd go with not paralyzed.....