Friday, February 20, 2015
Potholder project
I uttered the F-word no less than 47 times stitching the 2nd row of the
pot holder I'm crocheting right now. First, I HATE THE (insert bad word
here) SECOND ROW. Second, perhaps I should have had that glass of wine
*before* starting this project.... !!! Wheeler, of course, just rolls his
eyes and thinks I'm a nut. Thank god I'm on the 3rd row now.....
Thursday, February 19, 2015
Hello, 911 - will that be Visa, Mastercard or American Express?
I am about to have a freaking coronary!!!!!! I just got a call from a
DEBT COLLECTOR for $700, for the ambulance we had to call back in
October of last year for Wheeler.
First, 911 charges???????????
Second, we NEVER received a bill for this. I told her this on the phone and her response? And I'm NOT kidding on this, she said, and I QUOTE: "We didn't have your address".
WE DIDN'T HAVE YOUR ADDRESS?????????????????
A) F*****G 911 was called to OUR ADDRESS.
B) They managed to CALL ME when it was in collections, so they couldn't CALL ME before THEN to ASK OUR ADDRESS to send the BILL???
C) We are now going to owe $2100 for that transport plus the 2 ambulance transports we have had in the last two weeks now.
D) If this hits our credit report, I'm going to FREAK THE F*** OUT.
Oh my god. I'm about to have an absolute cow.
Something is totally screwed up with our healthcare system, seriously, they charge you in an EMERGENCY.
First, 911 charges???????????
Second, we NEVER received a bill for this. I told her this on the phone and her response? And I'm NOT kidding on this, she said, and I QUOTE: "We didn't have your address".
WE DIDN'T HAVE YOUR ADDRESS?????????????????
A) F*****G 911 was called to OUR ADDRESS.
B) They managed to CALL ME when it was in collections, so they couldn't CALL ME before THEN to ASK OUR ADDRESS to send the BILL???
C) We are now going to owe $2100 for that transport plus the 2 ambulance transports we have had in the last two weeks now.
D) If this hits our credit report, I'm going to FREAK THE F*** OUT.
Oh my god. I'm about to have an absolute cow.
Something is totally screwed up with our healthcare system, seriously, they charge you in an EMERGENCY.
Tuesday, February 17, 2015
Well so much for that.....
He was discharged at noon yesterday. At 8 pm, noticed he had a 101 fever. It stayed up all night and his infectious disease doctor said he needed to be readmitted. So here we are again at Rex. Sigh.
Monday, February 16, 2015
Discharge
Scene: Rex Rocket Launchpad
Cargo LastName is awake, medicated, fed and ready to be loaded into the cargo bay of the Space Ambulance Shuttle, pending its arrival to the Rex Launchpad. Senior rocket scientist Dr. Blogauthor is packed and ready to leave as soon as the Shuttle arrives. Upon arrival, Cargo LastName will be loaded horizontally into the capsule for the journey to Base Camp at Address. All parties hope that inclement weather does not scrub or delay the launch in any way.
The countdown will begin when more information is available from the weathermen, the space engineers, and the Space Shuttle crew.
Update: Discharge slated for 12:30 pm.
Cargo LastName is awake, medicated, fed and ready to be loaded into the cargo bay of the Space Ambulance Shuttle, pending its arrival to the Rex Launchpad. Senior rocket scientist Dr. Blogauthor is packed and ready to leave as soon as the Shuttle arrives. Upon arrival, Cargo LastName will be loaded horizontally into the capsule for the journey to Base Camp at Address. All parties hope that inclement weather does not scrub or delay the launch in any way.
The countdown will begin when more information is available from the weathermen, the space engineers, and the Space Shuttle crew.
Update: Discharge slated for 12:30 pm.
Sunday, February 15, 2015
Hiccups
I have intractable hiccups.
Me:
"Hiccup"
"Hiccup"
"Hiccup"
"Hiccup"
"Hiccup"
"Hiccup"
"Hiccup"
"Hiccup"
"Hiccup"
"Hiccup"
"Hiccup"
"Hiccup"
Wheeler (dry as hell): Will you shut the fuck up over there?!?!!
Me: Collapses in a fit of laughter.... while hiccuping!
Me:
"Hiccup"
"Hiccup"
"Hiccup"
"Hiccup"
"Hiccup"
"Hiccup"
"Hiccup"
"Hiccup"
"Hiccup"
"Hiccup"
"Hiccup"
"Hiccup"
Wheeler (dry as hell): Will you shut the fuck up over there?!?!!
Me: Collapses in a fit of laughter.... while hiccuping!
Newcast
Good morning viewers, this is Rex Healthcare Channel 11, Morning News – Coverage You Can Count On!
In today’s headline news, a PICC line will be inserted into Wheeler’s arm for continuation of antibiotic therapy at home. This event will be closed to the public, but once placed, will be open for viewing. Blogauthor will be maintaining the PICC line at their home, and will be answering viewer questions all day today and tomorrow.
In breaking news, breakfast was served at 7:30 am and consisted of a ham and cheese omelet, potatoes, orange juice and coffee.Wheeler and Blgoauthor split the omelet, Wheeler ate the potatoes, Blogauthor hogged the orange juice (as she does every morning) and she also drank the coffee (with cream).
Turning now to our roving reporter on the street, the man in the room across from Wheeler and Blogauthor spent most of last night yelling and trying to get out of bed. Thankfully, their room, Room 5036, is an isolation room with double doors separated by a washing station, so the noise level was somewhat muffled by this arrangement. This morning, the man in 5046 appears to have either died or shut up.
Now, on to weather. Holy shit, it’s cold. The end.
In sports, the nursing staff, in a feat worthy of Nascar pit crew speeds, bathed Wheeler and changed the sheets in under 4.2 minutes. He now smells much better.
Lastly, discharge is still slated for tomorrow and we will continue to update with any continuing developments.
Have a great day viewers, and thanks for tuning in this morning!
In today’s headline news, a PICC line will be inserted into Wheeler’s arm for continuation of antibiotic therapy at home. This event will be closed to the public, but once placed, will be open for viewing. Blogauthor will be maintaining the PICC line at their home, and will be answering viewer questions all day today and tomorrow.
In breaking news, breakfast was served at 7:30 am and consisted of a ham and cheese omelet, potatoes, orange juice and coffee.Wheeler and Blgoauthor split the omelet, Wheeler ate the potatoes, Blogauthor hogged the orange juice (as she does every morning) and she also drank the coffee (with cream).
Turning now to our roving reporter on the street, the man in the room across from Wheeler and Blogauthor spent most of last night yelling and trying to get out of bed. Thankfully, their room, Room 5036, is an isolation room with double doors separated by a washing station, so the noise level was somewhat muffled by this arrangement. This morning, the man in 5046 appears to have either died or shut up.
Now, on to weather. Holy shit, it’s cold. The end.
In sports, the nursing staff, in a feat worthy of Nascar pit crew speeds, bathed Wheeler and changed the sheets in under 4.2 minutes. He now smells much better.
Lastly, discharge is still slated for tomorrow and we will continue to update with any continuing developments.
Have a great day viewers, and thanks for tuning in this morning!
Saturday, February 14, 2015
Lockup
Bailiff: All rise, the Honorable Judge Let-Me-Out is
approaching the bench. Court is now in
session.
Judge: Please sit.
(pause as the gallery all sits)
Judge: Wheeler LastName, please rise for the reading of the
charges.
Wheeler: Ummmmmm…….
Judge: Oh. Errr, never mind.
It says here that you have been arrested for an intractable urinary
tract infection, sepsis and a Stage 3 pressure sore. Are you guilty or not guilty of these grave offenses?
Wheeler: I’m afraid that I am fully guilty, your honor.
Judge: It is my understanding that you have been in Rex
Lockup for 9 days serving time awaiting your sentencing. Today I will hear your statement so that I
may render the most appropriate sentence.
Wheeler: Judge, I am an upstanding citizen. Wait, scratch that. I am a down-sitting citizen. I have truly
suffered while here in Rex Lockup and have learned from my medical mishaps. To that end, I have been prodded, scanned,
x-rayed, MRIed, palpated, the pressure sore on my butt has been roto-rooted, I
have been turned every two hours round the clock, I’ve had my blood pressure
taken every 4 hours, I’ve had antibiotics hung every 8 hours and none of these ever
seem to coincide with each other. I have been stuck like a pin cushion every
day while here, sometimes multiple times a day.
Despite all of this, I have displayed an excellent attitude through all
of these indignities, which I believe you should consider in your
sentencing. Furthermore, I desperately miss
my own bed, the ability to use my computer, lights, fan and being able to drink
water independently from my cup at home.
And I miss sleeping next to our dogs who are too in lockup at the vet. I long for my wife’s excellent home cooking as
compared to the fairly tasty, but now becoming monotonous Rex Lockup food. Lastly, my wife is a caregiver extraordinaire
– who can perform minor brain surgery among other feats because it is
considered “custodial care” by our insurance company – so she can surely handle
management of the PICC line and antibiotics once released – should you choose
to release me.
Judge: Well, those are certainly excellent points Mr.
Harris. My ruling is as follows: You are
to be released, conditional upon negative blood cultures through Monday
morning, to the custody of your wife at your home. You will be on home arrest however, for 4
weeks during which time you must fully comply with vancomycin treatment. After home arrest is completed, you will be
on parole until your pressure sore is healed and you will be unable to be in
your wheelchair during this period of parole. Please don’t let me regret this
sentence. Don’t come back here anytime
soon!!
Wheeler: Thank you Your
Honor!!!!
Blogauthor: (high fives Wheeler’s head)
Friday, February 13, 2015
Tea-Rex Restaurant
SCENE: The “Tea-Rex Restaurant”
Waiter: Hello sir, I see you have just arrived by ambulance. How many are in your party today?
Wheeler: Just one for now, but my lovely wife will be joining me for dinner soon.
Waiter: Well, I have a nice gurney waiting for you right now, and a very uncomfortable chair for your wife.
Wheeler: Why thank you, that would be perfect.
Waiter: And what would you like to drink? We have IV saline, IV morphine, and IV glucose.
Wheeler: I’ll think that I’ll go with the saline.
Waiter: Very good sir, stick out your arm and I’ll place the IV. While I prepare your pre-dinner IV drinks, what can I offer you as an appetizer?
Wheeler: Well, I really love the antibiotics you have listed on your menu, but it’s just too hard to choose amongst them. What do you recommend?
Waiter: Well sir, for that, I’ll need to bring in our Head Waiter.
(Head Waiter comes in): Sir, given your particulars, I would recommend aztreonam. It has a wonderful bouquet that leaves a citrus taste on the palette. I’m certain your bacteria will enjoy it.
Wheeler: Well that settles it, aztreonam it is!
(Waiter serves IV aztreonam to Chad)
(Time passes)
(Blogauthor arrives and flashes gold plated insurance coverage cards to admitting staff)
(Wheeler & Blogauthor miraculously moved upstairs to a private dining room)
Waiter: Sir, as you can see, we now have you in our Special Isolation Private Dining Experience Suite. What will you be having for your entrée this evening? Our Head Waiter recommends for you the Special of The Day: vancomycin. It is powder that is carefully reconstituted in our gourmet kitchen with sterile water procured from a babbling brook in France, then refrigerated to bring out the exquisite metallic flavor. We also have a recommended side dish of dilaudid which makes an excellent accompaniment to the vancomycin. It has a spicy and bold flavor and makes you forget things.
Wheeler: That sounds amazing, I’ll have both!
Waiter: And what will your wife be having?
Blogauthor: I’ll just have a Snickers bar and diet Coke please.
Head Waiter summons Waiter to bring Chad’s entrée, which is added to his flavorful appetizer and drink in his IV.
(Time passes)
(More time passes)
(A LOT more time passes)
(Seasons change)
Waiter: Will you be having any dessert?
Wheeler: I was thinking a PICC line would be an excellent ending to this outstanding meal.
Waiter: Well our Head Waiter is in charge of baking PICC lines and will only be able to do so with 3 days notice, so if you don’t mind waiting, then we’d be happy to serve this to you.
Wheeler: Well, why not! It’s so exciting in here! We love watching the walls, counting sheep, and we have been praying fervently for a painter to come in so that we can watch paint dry.
Waiter: Fantastic, sir. We’ll be back in 3 days with that for you.
Wheeler: We’ll be here! Thanks so much for your excellent service so far!
Waiter: Our pleasure.
Waiter: Hello sir, I see you have just arrived by ambulance. How many are in your party today?
Wheeler: Just one for now, but my lovely wife will be joining me for dinner soon.
Waiter: Well, I have a nice gurney waiting for you right now, and a very uncomfortable chair for your wife.
Wheeler: Why thank you, that would be perfect.
Waiter: And what would you like to drink? We have IV saline, IV morphine, and IV glucose.
Wheeler: I’ll think that I’ll go with the saline.
Waiter: Very good sir, stick out your arm and I’ll place the IV. While I prepare your pre-dinner IV drinks, what can I offer you as an appetizer?
Wheeler: Well, I really love the antibiotics you have listed on your menu, but it’s just too hard to choose amongst them. What do you recommend?
Waiter: Well sir, for that, I’ll need to bring in our Head Waiter.
(Head Waiter comes in): Sir, given your particulars, I would recommend aztreonam. It has a wonderful bouquet that leaves a citrus taste on the palette. I’m certain your bacteria will enjoy it.
Wheeler: Well that settles it, aztreonam it is!
(Waiter serves IV aztreonam to Chad)
(Time passes)
(Blogauthor arrives and flashes gold plated insurance coverage cards to admitting staff)
(Wheeler & Blogauthor miraculously moved upstairs to a private dining room)
Waiter: Sir, as you can see, we now have you in our Special Isolation Private Dining Experience Suite. What will you be having for your entrée this evening? Our Head Waiter recommends for you the Special of The Day: vancomycin. It is powder that is carefully reconstituted in our gourmet kitchen with sterile water procured from a babbling brook in France, then refrigerated to bring out the exquisite metallic flavor. We also have a recommended side dish of dilaudid which makes an excellent accompaniment to the vancomycin. It has a spicy and bold flavor and makes you forget things.
Wheeler: That sounds amazing, I’ll have both!
Waiter: And what will your wife be having?
Blogauthor: I’ll just have a Snickers bar and diet Coke please.
Head Waiter summons Waiter to bring Chad’s entrée, which is added to his flavorful appetizer and drink in his IV.
(Time passes)
(More time passes)
(A LOT more time passes)
(Seasons change)
Waiter: Will you be having any dessert?
Wheeler: I was thinking a PICC line would be an excellent ending to this outstanding meal.
Waiter: Well our Head Waiter is in charge of baking PICC lines and will only be able to do so with 3 days notice, so if you don’t mind waiting, then we’d be happy to serve this to you.
Wheeler: Well, why not! It’s so exciting in here! We love watching the walls, counting sheep, and we have been praying fervently for a painter to come in so that we can watch paint dry.
Waiter: Fantastic, sir. We’ll be back in 3 days with that for you.
Wheeler: We’ll be here! Thanks so much for your excellent service so far!
Waiter: Our pleasure.
Thursday, February 12, 2015
The Wheel of Misfortune
Pat Sajak: Welcome viewers to The Wheel Of Misfortune!!! America's favorite gameshow! Today, our players are Nathan, Elisa and Michelle! Everbody, give 'em a big round of applause!!
(studio applauds here)
Alright Vanna, turn around the letters for tonight's puzzle. I'll warn our players though, that it's a tough one. So put on your thinking caps! It's a phrase.
LE__ ME OU__
Alright, Nathan has spun the wheel. What say you?
Nathan: N?
Pat: Is there an N! (pause) Bzzzzzzz. Ohhhhh, no, it's not Len Me Oun. So sorry Nathan. Next up is
Elisa. Spin that wheel!
Elisa: Is there an M?
Pat: Is there an M? (pause) Bzzzzz. Ohhhhh, no, it's not Lem Me Oum. Too bad Elisa, but that sure was a good guess. Next up is Michelle.
Michelle: Hmmmmmmmm.
(pause)
Pat: Come on Michelle....
Michelle: I'd like to solve the puzzle Pat!
Pat: Let's hear it!
Michelle: LET ME OUT!!
Pat: We have a winner!! LET ME OUT is the correct answer! Vanna, tell us what she wins!
Deep voiceover while Vanna sashays: Well Michelle, you've won a custom crochet item from the Blogauthor's Endless Scarf Shop!!!
(Michelle pumps her arms and rolls her wheelchair around in a victory lap)
Pat: Well everybody, that's all the time we have tonight. Thanks for tuning in, come back tomorrow for another exciting update!
(studio applauds here)
Alright Vanna, turn around the letters for tonight's puzzle. I'll warn our players though, that it's a tough one. So put on your thinking caps! It's a phrase.
LE__ ME OU__
Alright, Nathan has spun the wheel. What say you?
Nathan: N?
Pat: Is there an N! (pause) Bzzzzzzz. Ohhhhh, no, it's not Len Me Oun. So sorry Nathan. Next up is
Elisa. Spin that wheel!
Elisa: Is there an M?
Pat: Is there an M? (pause) Bzzzzz. Ohhhhh, no, it's not Lem Me Oum. Too bad Elisa, but that sure was a good guess. Next up is Michelle.
Michelle: Hmmmmmmmm.
(pause)
Pat: Come on Michelle....
Michelle: I'd like to solve the puzzle Pat!
Pat: Let's hear it!
Michelle: LET ME OUT!!
Pat: We have a winner!! LET ME OUT is the correct answer! Vanna, tell us what she wins!
Deep voiceover while Vanna sashays: Well Michelle, you've won a custom crochet item from the Blogauthor's Endless Scarf Shop!!!
(Michelle pumps her arms and rolls her wheelchair around in a victory lap)
Pat: Well everybody, that's all the time we have tonight. Thanks for tuning in, come back tomorrow for another exciting update!
Wednesday, February 11, 2015
Hospital food
Wheeler threatened grave bodily harm to me if I brought him one more dinner
from the cafeteria, so Domino's delivery it was! Did you even know you
can have pizza delivered to a hospital? Well, you can! Just give the
address, your cell number and voila. (and they have gluten free!)
Stardate 2-11-2015 - Aboard the USS Rex 5036
CAPTAIN'S LOG
Definitive diagnosis of illness of the First Officer Wheeler will now come from a Tricorder ordered last night from Amazon (Prime) because Dr. Crusher can’t come up with the answer yet of the source of the sepsis. Unfortunately the Tricorder is on backorder with an estimated shipping date of September 12, 4056. Vital signs of First Officer Wheeler have improved somewhat but morale is rapidly plummeting after 7 days of monotony. The medical doctor is putting on a wound vac to help heal his Stage 3 sore this afternoon. The Holodeck and Food Replicators remain on the fritz. Jordy has been summoned to fix these areas but has not been located yet. We think he is the Cantina getting drunk.
As the Captain, the journey has been slow and uneventful, and thus I have made a scarf as tall as I am while driving the ship. The estimated date of docking has now been updated to “maybe the end of the week”. A variety of medical personnel continue to parade through the First Officer’s bunk, usually most conveniently, just as he’s fallen asleep after the previous evening’s long hard night with pain and GI issues.
The canine unit continues to be quarantined.
Last night, visitors came aboard from another star ship (the shuttle USS Honda CRV Morrisville, Captain Offspring's Dad and First Officer Offpsring), bringing a hilarious and thoroughly twisted game called “Cards Against Humanity”. Raucous laughter echoed over the entire ship and all persons nearly got thrown in the brig for behavior unbecoming an officer.
End log.
Log addendum: Infectious disease doctor was here and he wants Wheeler to stay until next Monday at the minimum. So we are stuck here for 5 more days. UGH.
CAPTAIN'S LOG
Definitive diagnosis of illness of the First Officer Wheeler will now come from a Tricorder ordered last night from Amazon (Prime) because Dr. Crusher can’t come up with the answer yet of the source of the sepsis. Unfortunately the Tricorder is on backorder with an estimated shipping date of September 12, 4056. Vital signs of First Officer Wheeler have improved somewhat but morale is rapidly plummeting after 7 days of monotony. The medical doctor is putting on a wound vac to help heal his Stage 3 sore this afternoon. The Holodeck and Food Replicators remain on the fritz. Jordy has been summoned to fix these areas but has not been located yet. We think he is the Cantina getting drunk.
As the Captain, the journey has been slow and uneventful, and thus I have made a scarf as tall as I am while driving the ship. The estimated date of docking has now been updated to “maybe the end of the week”. A variety of medical personnel continue to parade through the First Officer’s bunk, usually most conveniently, just as he’s fallen asleep after the previous evening’s long hard night with pain and GI issues.
The canine unit continues to be quarantined.
Last night, visitors came aboard from another star ship (the shuttle USS Honda CRV Morrisville, Captain Offspring's Dad and First Officer Offpsring), bringing a hilarious and thoroughly twisted game called “Cards Against Humanity”. Raucous laughter echoed over the entire ship and all persons nearly got thrown in the brig for behavior unbecoming an officer.
End log.
Log addendum: Infectious disease doctor was here and he wants Wheeler to stay until next Monday at the minimum. So we are stuck here for 5 more days. UGH.
The story of our lives
This is SO us!!!!! (except I am frequently taken for his MOTHER believe it or not).
From the article: "Today, I live with the firm belief that an able/disabled relationship can be even more satisfying than your average romance. I'm still young and stupid, so I don't want to trick you into thinking I have this all figured out. But I believe the deeper closeness in an able/disabled relationship blossoms from the process of teaching your partner how to "care" for you."
From the article: "Today, I live with the firm belief that an able/disabled relationship can be even more satisfying than your average romance. I'm still young and stupid, so I don't want to trick you into thinking I have this all figured out. But I believe the deeper closeness in an able/disabled relationship blossoms from the process of teaching your partner how to "care" for you."
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/shane-burcaw/laughing-at-my-nightmare-_b_6647638.html
Why He Has Me
Long night - Wheeler has had a rough night so far, poor thing. And yes, it's 4:30 am right now and I've been up 3 times already with him
since midnight - but that's exactly why I'm here. When he needs me, I'm
here.
Tuesday, February 10, 2015
Captivity
Captivity, Day 6
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Captive 1 is no longer circling the drain but continues to have multiple IV antibiotics infused round the clock daily. Last night a surgeon came in and aggressively debrided Captive 1's Stage 3 pressure sore - this woman was not gentle, but holy crap!! So now it's a gaping hole in his butt which will take a long time to heal, but she had to deeply clean and probe it to ensure there was no infection lurking down deep. Captive 1 is so bored that he is threatening to learn to walk again so that he can leave.
Captive 2 is stuck like a fly in glue tending to Captive 1's needs. She listens to her godawful (according to Captive 1) Top 40 music, crochets (and is suffering the dreaded disease "crochet fingers"), feeds and bathes Captive 1, and naps out of sheer boredom. Captive 2's main job is running downstairs for food and drinks from the cafeteria, which isn't half bad.
Captors continue to stream in and out of the room to hang IVs, discuss Captive 1's treatment plans, give him good pain meds .... but never give Captives an inkling of when they can be released from captivity. Best guess would be no sooner than this weekend at this point.
Finders of this note, please send ransom money to The Fund To Pay Our Co-Pays For This Very Expensive Hospitalization account.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Captive 1 is no longer circling the drain but continues to have multiple IV antibiotics infused round the clock daily. Last night a surgeon came in and aggressively debrided Captive 1's Stage 3 pressure sore - this woman was not gentle, but holy crap!! So now it's a gaping hole in his butt which will take a long time to heal, but she had to deeply clean and probe it to ensure there was no infection lurking down deep. Captive 1 is so bored that he is threatening to learn to walk again so that he can leave.
Captive 2 is stuck like a fly in glue tending to Captive 1's needs. She listens to her godawful (according to Captive 1) Top 40 music, crochets (and is suffering the dreaded disease "crochet fingers"), feeds and bathes Captive 1, and naps out of sheer boredom. Captive 2's main job is running downstairs for food and drinks from the cafeteria, which isn't half bad.
Captors continue to stream in and out of the room to hang IVs, discuss Captive 1's treatment plans, give him good pain meds .... but never give Captives an inkling of when they can be released from captivity. Best guess would be no sooner than this weekend at this point.
Finders of this note, please send ransom money to The Fund To Pay Our Co-Pays For This Very Expensive Hospitalization account.
Monday, February 9, 2015
You're boarding us AGAIN?
The dogs are boarded at the vet while Wheeler is at the hospital so I don't have to drive home and back twice a day. Here's what went down.
Dog and Dogley: We are back in JAIL???? Whatever did we do?? I mean, I know that we drug every napkin from Offspring's party out of the trash yesterday, but well, aside from THAT....
Me: Oh stop complaining, you are in the Chateau de Dog suite that has a toddler bed, a television, toys, food and water, and I bought you EACH a giant meaty bone to munch on while you're there.
Dog: But there is no warm body to lay against and no one to continuously pet me.
Dogley: And no one makes and throws popcorn at me!
Me: Well, you're stuck there because Wheeler is sick.
Both dogs: WHEELER IS SICK????? Us go fix him!!!!! Where Wheeler????
Me: He'll be home soon and you can lick and snuggle with him then.
Dogs: Good. There's nothing we can't fix with slobbery love!!!!
Dog and Dogley: We are back in JAIL???? Whatever did we do?? I mean, I know that we drug every napkin from Offspring's party out of the trash yesterday, but well, aside from THAT....
Me: Oh stop complaining, you are in the Chateau de Dog suite that has a toddler bed, a television, toys, food and water, and I bought you EACH a giant meaty bone to munch on while you're there.
Dog: But there is no warm body to lay against and no one to continuously pet me.
Dogley: And no one makes and throws popcorn at me!
Me: Well, you're stuck there because Wheeler is sick.
Both dogs: WHEELER IS SICK????? Us go fix him!!!!! Where Wheeler????
Me: He'll be home soon and you can lick and snuggle with him then.
Dogs: Good. There's nothing we can't fix with slobbery love!!!!
Sunday, February 8, 2015
You're not LEAVING are you???!
About an hour ago, I went to leave the hospital to let the dogs out
and to get some food for us and as I walked away jangling my car keys,
the nurse looked at me in a panic and said "You're not leaving are
you???". I told her I was just leaving for a short while and I'd be
back. She said "Oh thank god, we can't possibly leave him all alone and
we have no idea what we'd do without you there all day and night".
Good thing he's married to me - someone who can sleep hanging upside down by my toes while near railroad tracks. I can sleep anywhere!!
On that note, I'm taking FMLA (Family Medical Leave Act) time for the
foreseeable future until things are resolved and I can turn my attention
back to work again. While it's bad because it's unpaid, it will be a
massive burden off my shoulders of not trying to juggle full time work
and being here at the hospital. My boss is being uber understanding, so
that's great. They just want me to focus on the important thing - Wheeler.
Sepsis
We have had a major setback. Wheeler actually does have sepsis, which is an infection in the bloodstream, which
means it's systemic all over his body instead of just in his bladder.
The worse news is that the bloodstream infection is a different bacteria
than what is in the bladder so there is a second source causing that
infection that they have to hunt down and find. A possible source is
his open pressure sore, which has been healing nicely so far (or so we thought).
A radiologist is going to consulted because they are going to do either a CT scan or MRI of the sore and surrounding tissues to determine if there is an infection coming from there. They are also bringing in an infectious disease specialist because he is now considered a complicated case due to two infections that are resistant to virtually all antibiotics. He is currently on vancomycin and aztreonam now and they will be blood culturing every day to see if the vanc is working and for vanc levels and kidney funtion. And if the sore is not the source of the infection then they have to start a full body hunt for the source.
Great.
A radiologist is going to consulted because they are going to do either a CT scan or MRI of the sore and surrounding tissues to determine if there is an infection coming from there. They are also bringing in an infectious disease specialist because he is now considered a complicated case due to two infections that are resistant to virtually all antibiotics. He is currently on vancomycin and aztreonam now and they will be blood culturing every day to see if the vanc is working and for vanc levels and kidney funtion. And if the sore is not the source of the infection then they have to start a full body hunt for the source.
Great.
Saturday, February 7, 2015
The life saving knot
Sitting in the hospital room crocheting....
Me: Ahhhh shit. There is a knot in the row below this one and it's hard to hook this one now.
Wheeler: Well, you better rip it out and do that row over again.
Me: But I don't wanna! I can manage around it well enough.
Wheeler: But what if you were stuck hanging off the edge of a cliff and the only thing between you and sure death was your scarf tied around a tree at the edge of the cliff ... and you had a KNOT that you improperly knitted in that row? How would you feel then that you hadn't done it absolutely perfectly?
Me: Oh FINE, I'll undo that row.
He has his sense of humor back.....
Me: Ahhhh shit. There is a knot in the row below this one and it's hard to hook this one now.
Wheeler: Well, you better rip it out and do that row over again.
Me: But I don't wanna! I can manage around it well enough.
Wheeler: But what if you were stuck hanging off the edge of a cliff and the only thing between you and sure death was your scarf tied around a tree at the edge of the cliff ... and you had a KNOT that you improperly knitted in that row? How would you feel then that you hadn't done it absolutely perfectly?
Me: Oh FINE, I'll undo that row.
He has his sense of humor back.....
Friday, February 6, 2015
.... but I need my car!!!!
So in the midst of all the chaos and scariness on Thursday, there was a funny story....
So Rex now has free valet parking at the ER. So when I arrived in the morning, I had them valet it. Fast forward to 4:30 pm, I was sitting at the cafeteria having dinner with Offspring's dad (he does cardiac procedures here in the OR) and I mentioned the free valet parking. He asked what time they closed and I realized I had no idea. So I swung back by the ER to tell Wheeler I was going to move the car and then headed out to the valet stand. I figured they closed at 9 pm if I were guessing, but since they were admitting him, I thought that I may as well move my car and give someone else a space to park.
I go out. Valet stand is gone, to the side and locked up. OH NO!!!! I look around, no one to be found. Then, in the far distance, in the staff parking lot, I see the blue coats of the two valet guys heading to their own personal cars to leave. Desperate, I ran as fast as I could towards them and when I got within shouting distance I yelled at the top of my lungs.....
"HEY VALET GUYS!!!!" They turned around. "I'LL GIVE YOU $20 TO GET MY CAR OUT OF VALET JAIL!!!!".
They both turned around and beat feet! So I got my car and was able to drive home. Otherwise I would have been stuck here at the hospital after an all night flight with no shower, without my medications, no toiletries, no books, etc.
The power of $20!
Also, update from today - he is still doing really well. Have to stay 2 more days now though because his blood culture grew out some bacteria, but we'll survive another day. Offspring's dad and Offspring came last night and we spent two hours laughing our butts off - all the nurses remarked that it sounded we had a great time, and we sure did!!! They are coming back today too. So we're looking forward to that. And I'm making great progress on my scarf.
So Rex now has free valet parking at the ER. So when I arrived in the morning, I had them valet it. Fast forward to 4:30 pm, I was sitting at the cafeteria having dinner with Offspring's dad (he does cardiac procedures here in the OR) and I mentioned the free valet parking. He asked what time they closed and I realized I had no idea. So I swung back by the ER to tell Wheeler I was going to move the car and then headed out to the valet stand. I figured they closed at 9 pm if I were guessing, but since they were admitting him, I thought that I may as well move my car and give someone else a space to park.
I go out. Valet stand is gone, to the side and locked up. OH NO!!!! I look around, no one to be found. Then, in the far distance, in the staff parking lot, I see the blue coats of the two valet guys heading to their own personal cars to leave. Desperate, I ran as fast as I could towards them and when I got within shouting distance I yelled at the top of my lungs.....
"HEY VALET GUYS!!!!" They turned around. "I'LL GIVE YOU $20 TO GET MY CAR OUT OF VALET JAIL!!!!".
They both turned around and beat feet! So I got my car and was able to drive home. Otherwise I would have been stuck here at the hospital after an all night flight with no shower, without my medications, no toiletries, no books, etc.
The power of $20!
Also, update from today - he is still doing really well. Have to stay 2 more days now though because his blood culture grew out some bacteria, but we'll survive another day. Offspring's dad and Offspring came last night and we spent two hours laughing our butts off - all the nurses remarked that it sounded we had a great time, and we sure did!!! They are coming back today too. So we're looking forward to that. And I'm making great progress on my scarf.
Thursday, February 5, 2015
Hospitalization
The moral of the story? When your husband's doctor tells you to come
home from your business trip, don't dick around, just DO IT. I had been talking on the
phone and texting with him the whole time I was in LA and he'd been
gently encouraging me to come home, but then yesterday he more or less laid down the
law and told me to get my butt home. So I did, I caught the red eye
leaving at 11 pm through Washington and got home to Raleigh at 9:30 am..... just
in the nick of time as it turned out.
Wheeler had tanked big time at just that time. I was not yet home from the airport, I was in a taxi on the way home and the nurse called me in a panic and asked if she could call 911. I of course said YES! I then beat the ambulance to the house by (literally) 30 seconds. I had the cabbie toss my luggage out on the sidewalk and told him to get the hell outta the way! The ambulance then took him to Rex where they evaluated him and got his pressures and temp under control in the ER.
He is now being worked up for sepsis (a blood stream infection). And obviously, we know that he has a severe urinary tract infection that is intractable to most every antibiotic out there so he is on a really odd ball one (aztreonam for the curious) by IV now. He has to be in the hospital for a minimum of 48 hours, after which he can get a PICC line and then go home (assuming all goes well of course) ... but ONLY if he is not septic. If he is septic, he will have to be further treated before a PIC line and going home. So we're here for 48 hours or for ??? I honestly don't think he's septic, but I've been wrong before. I think it's just this UTI absolutely positively kicking his ass.
I've been around the medical bush a few thousand times with him and today scared the hell outta me. Can't say I'd like to repeat today over again. .....
And at some point, I need to sleep because as you may recall at the start of this story, I flew all night last night to get back home. ** YAWN **
Wheeler had tanked big time at just that time. I was not yet home from the airport, I was in a taxi on the way home and the nurse called me in a panic and asked if she could call 911. I of course said YES! I then beat the ambulance to the house by (literally) 30 seconds. I had the cabbie toss my luggage out on the sidewalk and told him to get the hell outta the way! The ambulance then took him to Rex where they evaluated him and got his pressures and temp under control in the ER.
He is now being worked up for sepsis (a blood stream infection). And obviously, we know that he has a severe urinary tract infection that is intractable to most every antibiotic out there so he is on a really odd ball one (aztreonam for the curious) by IV now. He has to be in the hospital for a minimum of 48 hours, after which he can get a PICC line and then go home (assuming all goes well of course) ... but ONLY if he is not septic. If he is septic, he will have to be further treated before a PIC line and going home. So we're here for 48 hours or for ??? I honestly don't think he's septic, but I've been wrong before. I think it's just this UTI absolutely positively kicking his ass.
I've been around the medical bush a few thousand times with him and today scared the hell outta me. Can't say I'd like to repeat today over again. .....
And at some point, I need to sleep because as you may recall at the start of this story, I flew all night last night to get back home. ** YAWN **
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