Dog farts

Dogley is a flatulent dog.  Always has been, we just accept it as part of nature.  Unfortunately for us.  But sometimes, he rips one out so bad that he clears the room.  And just now, he ripped one out so bad that he offended himself.  He got up and walked away, staring backwards at the stench, with a look of confusion ...... like, who did THAT?

Sleeping in pee.... Just part life around here

Normally Wheeler has insomnia and I sleep like a baby but the last weeks its been reversed. So as I sat here tonight reading through a stack of magazines I've brought so as to distract my head from yelling internal at me WHY AREN'T YOU ASLEEP, I reached over for the next magazine as I'd left them in a stack on Wheeler's legs (yes, I treat him as my table, he's astonishingly useful in that regard and doesn't mind a bit. win-win!) I digress. Which I'm prone to do at 2 am. 

But the magazine I pick up is sopping wet. I suddenly realize that the off odor that I'd been smelling for the past however so long was (insert DUN DUN DUN.....) PEE! Not just any pee though, stenchy odiferous wild untreated UTI pee. His bag earlier the day had stunk so badly that I actually changed the bag out, something I have never had to do before. I only change them when I change the catheter once monthly. But this was full on peel the paint off the walls STANK (as we say in the south). 

So I took all three corners of sheets and blankets and pillows off that I could do without disturbing him, took away the pillows we use to stack him in the positioning all night (good bye to those, I don't think they are salvageable but I could be wrong) gathered a fresh supply of: waterproof mattress pad, fitted sheet, flat sheet, blanket, bed pad, sheepskin, pillow and pillowcase for him. You see, the way it leaked was such that it formed a blossoming oval around him from his knees to his neck and it didn't touch my side much. I think the sheepskin wicked it up and around him. 

At that point, I finally had to wake him, for which I felt horribly guilty (waking a man with sleeping difficulties.....) and explained. He said "Whatever", I put him in the sling, I redressed the bed in such good time that I'm prepared to lobby the Olympics to make it a sport. Then I hoisted him back down, where he .... promptly fell back to sleep!! SUCCESS! I took the sheets and blankets straightaway to the washer, put the whole rest of the mess outside on the back porch so that smell won't be in my house, or worse, soaking into my hardwood floors. I'll do those tomorrow. 

Now only magazine is unusable (and possibly the body pillows, but I'll make a final judgement on that in the AM). 

All I can say is that I am quite HAPPY to have had insomnia tonight. Otherwise it would have been much, much, MUCH worse if it had leaked all night versus finding it early on in the leaking process tonight at 2 am. 

Cheers to insomnia 

Fines at our house

You are fined 25 cents* in this house for:

1. Failing to put Wheeler's mouthstick back if you move it away
2. Failing to push the piano bench in (it traps/blocks Wheeler)
3. Swearing (a quarter per offense)
4. Saying fart (Offspring only, adults allowed)
5. FartING (Offspring only, quads allowed, mothers simply don't fart)
6. Leaving anything on the ramp (blocks/traps Wheeler)
7. Failing to obey a direct order (Offspring and quad only, mothers rule supreme)

8. Leaving shoes anywhere but on feet or on stairs
9. Failure to maintain a 5 minute warning buffer prior to trumpet practice
10. Turning Wheeler's chair off on purpose!

* all fines go to Villalobos Rescue Center which gets rich from us. Once a month I send in a SUBSTANTIAL donation.

postscript: the most revenue is generated by breaking rule #3 by the author of this blog, who shall remain thankfully anonymous.... 

Children of single mothers are such slackers

But I don't use a landline.....

I just signed Offspring up for Delta's frequent flyer program and it asked for a mobile phone number, and then for a home phone number.  My mobile number is our home number, so I left it blank.  *error* It required me to fill in a home number.  So I filled in my mobile number in that field too. *error*.  WTF?  Now what am I gonna put in?  I don't use a landline.  Ultimately, I put his dad's number in there, but if I need to sign up for Delta's miles myself (which I should do, I travel for business alot lately), I'm not quite sure what to put there.  I guess I'll put Wheeler's cell number there.  But it's just annoying that they are so behind the times that they don't account for people who only use a mobile for everything.  I've used a mobile for everything for 5+ years.  Get with the program people!

Really tall

We have been fiddling with using different cushions to combat a pressure sore that keeps developing on a certain spot on Wheeler's rump area.  Bascially, we rotate between a Supracor Stimulite

and a Roho

I got him dressed in bed, got him in the sling, put the Roho cushion down on the seat of the chair and put him in the chair.  Immediately, we knew something was off because he was sitting really high up - so far up that we couldn't even swing the chin control around past his shoulder.  I leaned him back using the attendant controls on the back, and we managed to get him leaned back to I could try to arrange him to get the height issue resolved.

But every time I sat him up, he was still really tall sitting up.  His feet literally dangled above the foot plate, he was that high up.  The only thing we could figure out is that Uncle Air Force must have pumped up the Roho (we had discussed pumping it up) and he must have seriously overinflated it.

Then I suddenly realized.

I neglected to take the Stimulite cushion off BEFORE I put the Roho on.  He was sitting on TWO cushions.  (insert drum ba bump bump here).  I am an idiot.

Really good ideas

I cannot tell from year to year how old Offspring is in his school pictures.  He has been basically the same size, or very close in size, for 5+ years, so its really difficult to pin down what school year his photos come from.  As a result, I have a drawer full of photos that I can't date.  Today is picture date.  I devised a scheme that would be very handy: write on his shirt "I am 11 years old and in 6th grade".  Brilliant, doncha think?

One of the worst feelings is when you go to put wet clothes in the dryer, only to find a full load of dry clothes that you neglected to take out and fold when they were done.  Hate that!  Happened to me last night.  Bah humbug.  Meant I had to fold up 4 loads of laundry instead of 3.

Yesterday Offspring got a big glass out of the cupboard and filled it to the tippy top with milk.  I noted to him, belatedly, that just because a glass is a certain size does not compel him to fill it to the top of the glass.  He turned and said "But mom, I'm a thirsty guy!".  Who can argue with that eh?  And damned if he didn't drink it all.  But probably only because I told him he better and I gave him the mommy death stare.  Otherwise I know half or more of it would have been leftover and I would have had to find a place for it in our overstuffed fridge.

Wheeler got me these, aren't they FAB?????

They were extremely expensive, but he says I deserve them.  Hell, why not - have to splurge now and then,

Two adorable young college fraternity guys came to our place Saturday to take an extra TV we had back to the fraternity house where Wheeler was a member during college.  Today they messaged Wheeler and said that as part of pledging, the youngest guys needed to meet alumni and do work, and so did we need anything done, like cleaning out an attic or a garage? YES!!!!! and YES!!!!!!! How awesome is this?  I really super need strapping young lads to carry crap down from the attic and four of them could make very short work of it. Ditto the garage.  Combine that with a few loads to the city dump and I will have a clean attic and garage in a few weeks.  Hooray! I may have to change my tune about fraternities. 

Parallel processing

I don't parallel process well.  But last night, I was parallel processing like a fiend between about 10 and 11.  I was doing all of the following ....

• Getting Wheelers out of his wheels and into bed
• Programming the DVR to record all the new fall shows
• Q-tipping Wheeler's ears
• Plucking his nose hairs
• Rubbing his eyes
• Being his hands in playing Words with Friends on the iPad
• Shopping and building a computer to possibly buy at apple.com
• Chatting with a friend on Facebook
• Chatting with my niece on Facebook about the above mentioned computer on apple.com
• Texting with a friend on my phone
• Moving laundry from basket to washer, washer to dryer, then folding (x 3)
• Giving Wheeler his medications
• Taking my medications
• Feeding the dogs
• Letting the dogs out
• Putting dishes in dishwasher
• Enjoy a big glass of root beer

I was impressed that I didn't implode.  Normally I just CANNOT do all that, but somehow I was able to juggle most all of it... for the most part.  I had to check very carefully that we each swallowed the right set of medications though... a mix up there would be very very bad!

Mommy fail

Offspring was 20 minutes late from school... I went to the bus stop and he wasn't there.  Where could he be?!?!?!  Mind you, I had JUST watched a show about a kid who was literally snatched off the street and kidnapped, so with that fresh on my mind I started to worry a little..... then a little more ... heart starting to pound, I suddenly remember ... OOPS!!  He attended photography club after school and I WAS SUPPOSED TO PICK HIM UP!  2 minutes later he called me, peeved, saying "MOM, you FORGOT me didn't you?!" to which I had to sheepishly admit ummmm, yeah... so poor kid had to sit in the heat for 45 minutes waiting for me.  Doink!!!

Earlier in the day, I ground up some coffee beans ... or rather, TRIED to because as soon as I started to grind them, the lid flew off and spewed half ground, half not coffee beans all over me, the counter, the sink and the floor.  What the hell?!  Some kind of plastic lining inside the grinder had broken, became ensnared in the blades and caused the whole thing to seize up.

Mommy fail day.  

School expenses

School supplies: $80. Graphing calculator: $99. Gym clothes: $50. Dad bought wrong size of clothes, so buy another set: $50. Trumpet: $230. Trumpet second mouthpiece and cleaning kit: $60. Subscription to music website for assessments and lessons: $30. PTA fees: $30. Yearbook: $30. New tennis shoes: $50. School t-shirt: $15. First month lunch money: $45. 

Damn, it's expensive to be in middle school!

You know you've lost it....

...When you drive to the pet store to get the dog's nail trimmed, only upon arrival you discover that you have failed to bring the dogs.  Whoops.

Today I more successfully accomplished this task.  Whew.

A swamp and stinky feet

That's what his suitcase smells like ... a cross between a swamp and stinky feet, after a week away at camp.  And I mean everything in the suitcase, not just the clothes, right down to the damn flashlight, it all S-T-A-N-K-S.  Imagine not showering for a few days, not wearing deodorant and then taking a big whiff.  Or boiling old shoes on the stove.  Ok, you get the idea.  It stunk.  I took absolutely everything made of fabric and took it straight to the washing machine and set everything else out on the porch to air out.  Lord help me.

He had more fun than the law allows.  At the closing chapel (it was YMCA, so there was some religion in it), they sang songs, locked arms, swayed, held hands, and did all the campy stuff you do.  And he looked so happy, just grinning ear to ear. I loved watching him with his newfound friends and it warmed to the bottom of my heart.  I remember camp and I made friends at camp as a 10 year old that I wrote to until I was in college.

He did so many things - including horseback riding, canoeing, swimming, tetherball (for which he is proudly sporting MASSIVE - and I must say impressive - bruises up and down his arms), dodgeball, wiffelball, and a 100 other things.  Every day was jam packed with activities and he probably never slowed down once to take a breath.  I particularly like his description of "bro'-ing out"... time where just the "brothers" from his cabin would hang out and play frisbee and such.  They called it "bro time".  How adorable.  Of course, if I told him I thought that was adorable, he'd kill me.  But it was adorable.  And hilarious.  But he is getting older and wow, he will have "bro"s to hang out with soon.  I guess he already does!

He didn't want to come home of course, but I missed him A LOT!  I mean, he's stayed with his dad for a week before, and even been gone almost 2 weeks in New Hampshire before, but I've always called him every day or nearly every day then.  This time I didn't get to call him at all, so by today, I was really missing my boy.  I was so glad to see him, I hugged him till his guts fell out.  Ok, almost.

I'm glad he's home.  He's not.

Camp was a success!

Oil rigs?

We're watching Modern Family on DVD (Season 1 - how fun to catch up!) and the fine print says "home use excludes use of this disc at locations such as clubs, coaches, hospitals, hotels, oil rigs, prisons, and schools". Ummmmmm. Oil rigs? To quote Modern Family: REALLY???

Camp

Offspring is off to camp this week.  They can sign up for all kinds of activities, and two of the ones he signed up for: archery and riflery.

Was it something I said?!?

Ahhhhhhhh.... a new chair

This is my new chair.  This is not my house, this is just a stock photo of my new chair.  I am so excited.  I have always wanted a super comfy chair, and this is DA BOMB of comfy chairs.  It rocks, it leans back, and it lays almost completely flat when totally reclined.  I am in heaven.  Ahhhhhhhhhhhh.

I got the hint

Offspring placed this stuff on my desk in front of me just now.

I think I know what he wanted....

If only he could talk

I have been working, sitting in one place all morning and afternoon, and Dogley just came up to me, stared at me and barked. I looked at him, he wiggled his butt and he barked again. I looked at him, he barked again. I stood up, he walked away, I followed him. He walked to his water bowl and sat down. I looked at it and saw that it was empty. I filled it up. He started lapping water.  Gee, if only he could talk....

Handicapped seating SUCKS

We went to a concert this week and as always, the seating options sucked.  It was an arena show, so that meant we had to either sit in the last row of the lower level ($200 per ticket, no can do) or the first row of the upper level ($75 per ticket).  The section is situated as follows (use your imagination):


Row R: SEATS SEATS SEATS SEATS SEATS SEATS SEATS SEATS
....
ROW C: SEATS SEATS SEATS SEATS SEATS SEATS SEATS SEATS
ROW B: SEATS SEATS SEATS SEATS SEATS SEATS SEATS SEATS
STAIRS XXXXX                                                                   DOOR

(------WALKING SPACE -----------------------------------------------------)

Row A: SEAT SEAT SEAT SEAT SEAT   SEAT SEAT  OPEN AREA

We were in the two bolded seats, with of course Wheeler's folding chair removed to accommodate his wheelchair.  All the chairs on Row A are folding chairs that can be moved for wheelchairs.  But what happens is that everyone in the section, by definition, has to walk behind us to get to their seat.  Absolutely everyone.  And every time someone has to use the bathroom or goes to get a drink or souvenir, they have to walk behind us.  And people tend to congregate where it says "OPEN AREA" and talk to each other.  I got so pissed off because no one seemed to understand that WE WERE TRYING TO LISTEN TO THE FRELLIN' CONCERT!  We didn't pay $150 to hear their chit chat.  And sure, any two people talked for 60-90 seconds, no big deal right?  No, because EVERYONE talked for 60-90 seconds but consecutively such that someone was always standing there talking at any given point during the concert.

The usher at the door is SUPPOSED to stop people from doing that for just that reason (not to mention obstructing the view of those behind the open area), but SHE was the worst offender!  She stood and chit chatted with concert goers, with other ushers and staff and was uber annoying.  I am actually considering sending a complaint to the arena because it really detracted from the concert.

And the thing is, if we'd popped for the lower level seats, we have the same problem because all the concessions are right behind the last row in the lower level.  And then people stand directly behind you in that last row and chat, again, each of them thinks they aren't bothering you because they are there for only a few minutes.  But everyone is there for "just a few minutes" which translates to the entire concert (or hockey game or any event), and it is so annoying.

Yet another reason not to break your neck.  Sucky options for concert/hockey/event seating.  Bah humbug!!!

New cushion? That means a new chair, sorry.

Wheeler has a pressure sore again.  The same pressure sore, actually as before only this time its not as gnarly and deep.  Two problems here.  One, once you have a pressure sore in a given area, that area is forever more prone to getting a pressure sore there again.  Two, his cushion is over 5 years old and is likely contributing to the sore, so every time he gets up, that spot is aggravated by his cushion.  So once he gets better, he'll have to go get pressure mapped for a new cushion.

But I am oh so not looking forward to that because he recently went on Medicare, and his wheelchair was purchased by his previous insurance company.  And in a stroke of genius, Medicare won't purchase or repair items for a wheelchair they didn't purchase.   As far as Medicare is concerned, if they didn't buy the chair, it does not exist and they will not pay for any repairs to it.

So if his chair needs any repairs at all, or say, theoretically needs a $300 cushion, we are just shit outta luck until Medicare buys him a new chair. But you see, his chair cost $47,147.

Yes, $47,147. I'm not kidding.

And it took a predictably horrible anguishing amount of time and energy to get it reimbursed (they denied it for 13 months despite being 100% pre-approved IN WRITING before we ordered it), so to go through that process again is not something I'm looking forward to.  And even if it would be better with Medicare (which I've heard it is), a lot of the features on his chair - such as the seat elevator (which raises the entire seat up and down so that he can sit level at a taller or shorter table) is not covered under Medicare, nor is a standing function covered, so a new chair would be ALOT less functional for him.

So there's the rub. We need a $300 cushion for his chair.  But to get a $300 cushion for his chair, Medicare would have to

BUY. HIM. A. NEW. FRIGGIN. CHAIR.

with fewer features, not to mention

HE. DOESN'T. NEED. A. NEW. CHAIR. HE. JUST. NEEDS. A. NEW. CUSHION.

This will become especially problematic as the years go on as the wheelchair needs more repairs, because as of now we're considering just sucking up the $300 out of pocket because losing the features of his old chair would not be worth it to save $300 on a cushion.  Why can't Medicare just pay to repair his current chair until it really does need to be replaced???

Just one more fine and dandy part of life on wheels.

That and laying on his side for a few weeks while this sore heals.  Again.

Satan called ... he wants his weather back

The actual temperature right now:

Now5pm6pm7pm8pm9pm10pm11pm12am1am2am3am

>>

106°Displaying English units.
Change to metric unitsfrom the
N at 9mph

• FORECAST
• EXTRA
• RADAR

What my car says it is outside right now:

Me thinks my car thermometer is goofed up.  Note to self: get it fixed.  Barring that: don't trust it.