Camp

Offspring is off to camp this week.  They can sign up for all kinds of activities, and two of the ones he signed up for: archery and riflery.

Was it something I said?!?

Ahhhhhhhh.... a new chair

This is my new chair.  This is not my house, this is just a stock photo of my new chair.  I am so excited.  I have always wanted a super comfy chair, and this is DA BOMB of comfy chairs.  It rocks, it leans back, and it lays almost completely flat when totally reclined.  I am in heaven.  Ahhhhhhhhhhhh.

I got the hint

Offspring placed this stuff on my desk in front of me just now.

I think I know what he wanted....

If only he could talk

I have been working, sitting in one place all morning and afternoon, and Dogley just came up to me, stared at me and barked. I looked at him, he wiggled his butt and he barked again. I looked at him, he barked again. I stood up, he walked away, I followed him. He walked to his water bowl and sat down. I looked at it and saw that it was empty. I filled it up. He started lapping water.  Gee, if only he could talk....

Handicapped seating SUCKS

We went to a concert this week and as always, the seating options sucked.  It was an arena show, so that meant we had to either sit in the last row of the lower level ($200 per ticket, no can do) or the first row of the upper level ($75 per ticket).  The section is situated as follows (use your imagination):


Row R: SEATS SEATS SEATS SEATS SEATS SEATS SEATS SEATS
....
ROW C: SEATS SEATS SEATS SEATS SEATS SEATS SEATS SEATS
ROW B: SEATS SEATS SEATS SEATS SEATS SEATS SEATS SEATS
STAIRS XXXXX                                                                   DOOR

(------WALKING SPACE -----------------------------------------------------)

Row A: SEAT SEAT SEAT SEAT SEAT   SEAT SEAT  OPEN AREA

We were in the two bolded seats, with of course Wheeler's folding chair removed to accommodate his wheelchair.  All the chairs on Row A are folding chairs that can be moved for wheelchairs.  But what happens is that everyone in the section, by definition, has to walk behind us to get to their seat.  Absolutely everyone.  And every time someone has to use the bathroom or goes to get a drink or souvenir, they have to walk behind us.  And people tend to congregate where it says "OPEN AREA" and talk to each other.  I got so pissed off because no one seemed to understand that WE WERE TRYING TO LISTEN TO THE FRELLIN' CONCERT!  We didn't pay $150 to hear their chit chat.  And sure, any two people talked for 60-90 seconds, no big deal right?  No, because EVERYONE talked for 60-90 seconds but consecutively such that someone was always standing there talking at any given point during the concert.

The usher at the door is SUPPOSED to stop people from doing that for just that reason (not to mention obstructing the view of those behind the open area), but SHE was the worst offender!  She stood and chit chatted with concert goers, with other ushers and staff and was uber annoying.  I am actually considering sending a complaint to the arena because it really detracted from the concert.

And the thing is, if we'd popped for the lower level seats, we have the same problem because all the concessions are right behind the last row in the lower level.  And then people stand directly behind you in that last row and chat, again, each of them thinks they aren't bothering you because they are there for only a few minutes.  But everyone is there for "just a few minutes" which translates to the entire concert (or hockey game or any event), and it is so annoying.

Yet another reason not to break your neck.  Sucky options for concert/hockey/event seating.  Bah humbug!!!

New cushion? That means a new chair, sorry.

Wheeler has a pressure sore again.  The same pressure sore, actually as before only this time its not as gnarly and deep.  Two problems here.  One, once you have a pressure sore in a given area, that area is forever more prone to getting a pressure sore there again.  Two, his cushion is over 5 years old and is likely contributing to the sore, so every time he gets up, that spot is aggravated by his cushion.  So once he gets better, he'll have to go get pressure mapped for a new cushion.

But I am oh so not looking forward to that because he recently went on Medicare, and his wheelchair was purchased by his previous insurance company.  And in a stroke of genius, Medicare won't purchase or repair items for a wheelchair they didn't purchase.   As far as Medicare is concerned, if they didn't buy the chair, it does not exist and they will not pay for any repairs to it.

So if his chair needs any repairs at all, or say, theoretically needs a $300 cushion, we are just shit outta luck until Medicare buys him a new chair. But you see, his chair cost $47,147.

Yes, $47,147. I'm not kidding.

And it took a predictably horrible anguishing amount of time and energy to get it reimbursed (they denied it for 13 months despite being 100% pre-approved IN WRITING before we ordered it), so to go through that process again is not something I'm looking forward to.  And even if it would be better with Medicare (which I've heard it is), a lot of the features on his chair - such as the seat elevator (which raises the entire seat up and down so that he can sit level at a taller or shorter table) is not covered under Medicare, nor is a standing function covered, so a new chair would be ALOT less functional for him.

So there's the rub. We need a $300 cushion for his chair.  But to get a $300 cushion for his chair, Medicare would have to

BUY. HIM. A. NEW. FRIGGIN. CHAIR.

with fewer features, not to mention

HE. DOESN'T. NEED. A. NEW. CHAIR. HE. JUST. NEEDS. A. NEW. CUSHION.

This will become especially problematic as the years go on as the wheelchair needs more repairs, because as of now we're considering just sucking up the $300 out of pocket because losing the features of his old chair would not be worth it to save $300 on a cushion.  Why can't Medicare just pay to repair his current chair until it really does need to be replaced???

Just one more fine and dandy part of life on wheels.

That and laying on his side for a few weeks while this sore heals.  Again.

Satan called ... he wants his weather back

The actual temperature right now:

Now5pm6pm7pm8pm9pm10pm11pm12am1am2am3am

>>

106°Displaying English units.
Change to metric unitsfrom the
N at 9mph

• FORECAST
• EXTRA
• RADAR

What my car says it is outside right now:

Me thinks my car thermometer is goofed up.  Note to self: get it fixed.  Barring that: don't trust it.

Summer job for Offspring

"Mom, you know what summer job I'd like to have?"

No, what?

"The Air Force"

Oh, ok.  What would you do in the Air Force?

"Fly fighter jets"

(Stifling laughter here) Well, that certainly sounds exciting.

"Yah, and I'm really good at it in my game, I'm really good with the joystick.  But I guess I'd have to learn all the other controls"

Yes, you would.

"Maybe I could have voice controls for some stuff - like eject.  Eject! Eject! Eject!"

Seems like a good idea.

"That would be such a cool job"

Sighs deeply as he imagines himself flying a fighter jet as an 11 year old ....

A kid who knows how to deal with a work-from-home mom

Held up in front of me today while I was on the phone for work:

Remote office

Since I'm working remotely from home, my job sent me absolutely everything I needed for a remote office.  And about 10 things I didn't need.  Here is the giant pile of boxes that have arrived at my house the first week that I worked there (week of May 21st):

I was so overwhelmed with the number of boxes that I let them sit until today when I finally opened them.  ALL of those boxes translated to just this (noting that I already had the laptop, that wasn't in the boxes above, just the docking station was in the boxes - the docking station is under the pile of papers over the laptop):

Can you believe that???  Now I have to break down all those boxes and recycle a ton of cardboard.  And I still haven't gotten my printer, so I'll have yet one more giant box to open and hook up to my system.

TOO.  MUCH.  STUFF!  

And just exactly how am I supposed to open a sealed box?

And so just exactly how am I supposed to open a box sealed with strong mailing tape, if without a sharp object such as a razor blade (which is extra super sharp)?

Boarding an airplane: Southwest vs the rest of the world

I have been spoiled by flying Southwest exclusively for the past few years, and I have now flown "regular" airlines twice in the last two weeks.  They boarded in, approximately, this order:

1. Grand supreme ultimate stupendous mileage plus triple crown golden sash card members
2. Ultimate plus super collosal humogous mileage double platinum partner members
3. Golden crown golden preferred gold club standard members
4. Sapphire preferred perks mileage plus club members
5. Preferred perks I still have more miles than you schlepps members
6. Persons with disabilties
7. Section 1
8. Section 2
9. Section 3
10. Section 4
11. Section 5
12. Section 6
13. Section 7
14. Last and final boarding call

Guess where I was? (if you are triple gold crown double sash dense, ask yourself how I know last and final boarding call comes after Section 7).  It's also worth mentioning here that the airplane I was boarding had a whopping 21 rows. 

Now here's how they board on Southwest

1. Persons with disabilties and families with small children
2. Section A
3. Section B
4. Section C
5. We love you but we will leave you, so get yourself on board now!

See why I like Southwest?

My kid is the coolest kid on the planet

Today we went to Garrison Keiller's live broadcast of Prairie Home Companion.  We went because Offspring heard about it and really wanted to go - he brought it up to me on his own, I hadn't even heard about it.  I agreed we should go.  When we got there it was really crowded. But since it was just the two of us, we threaded our way through the crowd and squeezed our way in right on the main aisle (albeit it in the back).

Before the formal show started, the vaunted Mr. Keillor and one of the singers on the show strolled up the aisle, singing a song - and walked right past us!

The broadcast was so much fun to watch.  You know when you listen to it on the radio that its all done by voice, but its another thing entirely to watch it all being done.  We were really far back, so we couldn't see too well, but well enough to see there was nothing but two guys, a woman, Garrison and a few props making all the sounds and voicing.  Offspring sat in his chair completely enthralled for the entire two hours straight, didn't move a single muscle the whole time.  If you've listened to Prairie Home Companion, you know that it is folksy, down home dry humor.  And it has folk and bluegrass music.

It is a 100% old time radio show, just like the ones back in the 30s and 40s. And you know what?  My kid loves old time radio shows.  He loves Prairie Home Companion.  He also listens to and loves Click and Clack the Tappett Brothers ("Car Talk" on NPR), and "Wait, Wait, Don't Tell me", also on NPR.  (yes, of course I am raising him on a steady diet of liberal elite media such as NPR). And he knows almost all the answers to Wait Wait Don't Tell Me too!  I have the coolest kid on the planet.  He loves OLD TIME RADIO SHOWS!  And he's flippin' eleven years old.  How did I get this lucky?  I have to say it again: I have the coolest kid ON THE PLANET.

Chicken livers

I used to say that you could fry anything and it would taste good, that you could fry shoe laces and they'd be delicious. 

Then I tried fried chicken livers.  

I was wrong.  

GROSSSSSSSS.  Uncle Air Force made them for dinner tonight, and I tried one.  I literally spit it out into my hand after one chew.  I almost vomited, as in seriously, I almost up chucked, it was that disgusting.  The texture, the taste, ewwwwwwww.  

So, you can't fry anything and make it good.  

Differing musical tastes

My better half listens to:

Leonard Skynard, Grateful Dead, Phish, Led Zepplin, Pink Floyd, Medesky Martin & Wood*, John Coltrane, Miles Davis, Peter Gabriel, Lucky Dube, Bob Marley, Peter Tosh, Jeff Beck, Santana, Singers & Players, Bauhaus, The The, Ozzy Osbourne, U2, Black Sabbath, Jimi Hendrix, etc. 

His better half listens to: 

Coldplay, U2, Katy Perry, Jordin Sparks, Flo Rida, Rhianna, Eminem, Brad Paisley, Eric Church, Gavin DeGraw, Chris Brown, The Band Perry, Peter Gabriel, Lady Antebellum, Zac Brown Band, Good Charlotte, Blake Shelton, Miranda Lambert, Lady Gaga, Maroon 5, Demi Lovato, etc.

If we were Venn diagrams, we would not intersect very much.  I play the Top 40 or Modern Country station in the house, and tries not to listen. He plays godawful stuff from his computer and I try not to listen.  Our shared iTunes account is bipolarly confused. 

* there is a special place in HELL for people who play Medesky Martin and Wood in my presence.  

Black light poster on ceiling

Last night, I idled noted how cool it would be to put Offspring's black light active poster on the ceiling of his room over his bed so he could gaze at it from bed. Of course, that turned into a promise to do it. Tonight, he remembered that I said I would. Rut roh. I am not handy. I don't really "do" ladders. 

I decided to be brave. Went to the garage. Got the ladder. Carried it (with his help) up the stairs. Pulled the bed out from the wall. Climbed up. Hyperventilated. Climbed back down. Collected myself....

Tried again. Taped poster to ceiling, which involved a great deal more balance and nerve than I normally have. Or I ever have really. Moved bed back, carried ladder down stairs, put back in garage.

Mom is a hero now. It was worth it. 

Sylvia

Whenever Wheeler has a UTI, we take in a sample of his urine after he finishes the course of the prescribed antibiotic to make sure (or not) that the infection has cleared (or not).  He has been fighting a UTI for about 8 weeks now, and this is his 3rd course of antibiotics - the last 2 which has failed - which we know because each time we took the sample in after the 2 courses, his urine was still dirty. He just finished his 3rd round of antibiotics, so today I took a sample in.

But, to get a sample run, you have to get past evil Sylvia at the front desk of the urologist's office.  She is a rip roaring pain in my ass, and she truly enjoys being a pain in the butt.  EVERY time I take in a sample, I tell her that I am merely there to drop a sample off to the lab, that the specimen cup is clearly labeled with his name, birthdate and that it needs a C&S (culture and sensitivity) run.  She then looks ever so puzzled in a syrupy sweet southern way, and says with sugar "Does he have an appointment with Dr. B today?", knowing full well he doesn't since I JUST SAID I WAS DROPPING OFF A SAMPLE ... that and HE'S NOT WITH ME.  So I say, no, I am just here to drop off the sample after the prescribed course of antibiotics, as per Dr. B's instructions.  Then she says "Well, I'm sorry, he has to have an appointment with the doctor in order to do that".

NO HE DOESN'T!!!!!!  I then argue with her for 5 minutes that no, he doesn't need a FRIGGIN' APPOINTMENT to drop off a sample.  The entire time, she acts as if no one has EVER in the course of her ENTIRE employment at a UROLOGIST'S office has come to drop off a urine sample without an appointment.  She then says that he at least has to have a nurse's visit scheduled, then she pulls up the calendar and suggests a date in the next decade.

I AM DROPPING THE SAMPLE OFF TODAY LADY.

She then insists again that I just cannot drop a sample off like this, and I will tell her, yes, I can.  I tell her to ask Dr. B's nurse.  She SIGHED LOUDLY, and told me to sit down and wait.  She then tended to her fingernails, answered the phone, filed charts and chit chatted for 20 minutes before going back to ask Dr. B's nurse.  As soon as she came back from the back, she said "Oh, yes, Dr. B said you can drop that off, the lab is just through that door".

Gee thanks.

And the dance will continue the next time.  I wish they would fire that wench.

Gay marriage

5 Decisions Away

Do you watch the A&E show "Hoarders"?  If you do, you probably will recognize the name Matt Paxton; he is one of the extreme cleaner guys - the dude who shovels shit (literally) and cleans up the worst hoarding houses.  Well, as it turns out he has a podcast (iTunes) and a website - both named "5 Decisions Away".  The premise behind the name is that one is always just 5 decisions away from a life changing event - good or bad (if you watch the show, you know what the "bad outcome" he refers to is... I'll not gross you out and write it out here). His podcast is about 90 mins long weekly and this week's is episode 27 or 28 I think.  Usually the first half is just shooting the breeze and various stories, and the second half is generally about hoarding - although not always.  He is a natural born storyteller, a true raconteur, and I enjoy listening to his podcasts.  I have gone back and listened to about 15 of them so far, and plan to listen to all of them (goodbye 38 hours of my life....).  Warning: the humor is raunchy, raw and not G-rated in the slightest. But if you lean towards that kind of humor .... go listen - its hilarious, disgusting, touching, and informative. 

How much my insurance company loves me

Wheeler has a urinary tract infection that is resistant to every single oral antibiotic out there, and to every single IM/IV abx as well, all except one (called Invanz for the curious).  But it has to be given as an injection and so the choice was to go to the doctor's office every day for 10 days (with it being unclear what we would do over the weekends for injections) or I could do the injections at home myself.  Given that our copay for a specialist is $70 PER visit (we have sucky insurance), and that the insurance company absolutely requires that the doctor's office charge it, that would have been $700 out of pocket for us just to have the injections done by their office.  .... Uh, I don't think so.  So we decided - as we have done before - to do the injections at home.

Problem: I am anaphylatically allergic to penicillin. And this drug cross reacts in 50% of people with pcn allergies.  Solution: send an email to our 700 member neighborhood email list to see if anyone with medical training would be willing to give him the injections here at home for 10 days.  Within 15 minutes, I had an offer to help - hooray!  A retired plastic surgeon who lives a few blocks over comes over every day to administer his injection.  Its a real pain though because it comes in powder form in a vial, and has to be reconstituted with vicious lidocaine.  So you have to draw up 3.2 mL of lidocaine, inject the lidocaine in the powder vial, shake it like crazy for a couple of minutes (it is very difficult to dissolve), draw it up into the syringe, change needles (since its no longer very sharp from being poked into two vials), then inject him.  Just in case I get exposed though, we have an "adult allergy emergency kit" prominently on the kitchen counter: EpiPen, prednisone, benadryl, zantac (little known allergy rescue, as an H2 inhibitor it suppresses allergic reactions), albuterol, and strict instructions to call 911 if I start wheezing or if my tongue swells.

Also part of the solution is that I have to treat Wheeler as if he is biohazardous waste.  38% of the drug is excreted in urine unchanged, and 10% in, lets call it 'other ways', so I can't do his personal care at all.  I have been getting him up in his chair and back in bed, but anything involving more personal care, Uncle Air Force has to do.  This means that he had to stay here last weekend and next weekend since the 10 days is straddling two weekends, which he is very unhappy about.  He said "thanks for all the advance warning" .... AS IF SOMEHOW WE COULD HAVE PLANNED THIS?!?!?  That makes me nuts.  "hello yes?  I'd like to plan an infection for next month... yes, let's say the 5th, and let's plan for a drug that she can't handle for 10 days, and make it only straddle one weekend please .... yes, thank you, we'll be sure to be ready for the infection".  AS IF?!?!?!  Grrrrr.  I get pissed when people get pissed at ME for  things I can't control.

Anyway, let's hope for the best.  And in the meantime, I had two claims for my foot go through and both were denied because I am "not a plan member".  WHAT?  So now I have to call them and get it all figured out and assure them that yes, we do pay $617 a month faithfully for me to have their shitty insurance so please PAY my doctor's bill.  Argh....